both hands on my junk

A phrase used to indicate that one is more than competent to deal with a situation and, frankly, they've got this shit handled.

Don't worry about it.

"Well, sounds like you've got it handled."

"OH, I'M HANDLING IT WITH BOTH HANDS ON MY JUNK!"

by lol_words October 3, 2018

Dorito Hands

The condition you get when after you finish eating a bag of Doritos and you have Dorito crumbs all over your hands.

The only ways to fix this is either wiping it off on your pants or licking your hands until all the crumbs are gone.

Person 1: Hey man, why's your PlayStation controller all greasy?
Person 2: Oh, it's the Dorito Hands, man.

by hso_00 October 4, 2018

hands up don't shit

When you're friend is trying to say "hands up, don't shoot," but instead says "shit"

Person 1: that touched me, but not in a gay way
Person 2: don't start pointing at charts and dolls and shit, HANDS UP DON'T SHIT

by LiteralCancer2.0 March 23, 2018

offer a hand

To give someone pleasure, and get something you want in return.

I will offer a hand if you buy me diamonds?.

by JailBait33 May 16, 2018

hell off right hand

WHEN you play a good soccer and throw good with right hand

My friend has hell off right hand!

by melanieeeee May 17, 2018

3rd hand smoke

It’s where you smoke out of your asshole

I can do 3rd hand smoke

by Yoyogurl May 18, 2018

Fat Hands

A big stinky band from Pennsylvania. They rub their big cheesy hands all over instruments, and spread a message of love and protected sex to young, likeminded individuals.

Fat Hands is going to fuck this shit up.

by SapBoy May 19, 2018