The Ketchup Crusader

The ketchup crusader is a cryptid in the larger tristate area. He lives in the woods and eats garbage. If you approach the ketchup crusader he will appear as one of your cousins. You know the cousin, but you do not remember their name(this disguise only affects his head, the rest of his body appears the same, in his classic armor). You must pretend that you know the cousins name, if the ketchup crusader finds out he will cut off on of your fingers and eat it. If you figure out it’s the ketchup crusader, he will show you his true face, and reward you with a finger he cut off of someone.he wears a completely red crusader armor, with no helmet and a green thong underneath.(gif unrelated, not what he looks like)
“Hey bro, did you know that the ketchup crusader’s real face looks exactly like Bruce Campbell?” “No way dude that’s crazy
by Harry Balls Man May 07, 2024
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Midwest Ketchup Bottle

Where you ejaculate into your lady’s vagina, blow into it, have her jump up and down and squeeze her stomach like a ketchup bottle
My boyfriend gave me a Midwest Ketchup Bottle last night, so I highly doubt I’m pregnant.
by Lordmegatron August 21, 2018
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Colorado Ketchup Packet

Eating a girl out on day 2 of her period while she's bloated like a bushel of crushed tomatoes. Then she Queefs in your mouth as she cums, so you spit the uterine wall sheddings atop a Denver omelette and eat your breakfast like a true mountain man.
Dude she didn't tell me she was on her period. I didn't have to order breakfast in the morning though. She queefed in my mouth and I topped my Denver omelette with the ol' Colorado Ketchup Packet! I didn't offer her any but I don't think she was hungry anyway.
by Dr Hill February 20, 2024
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ketchup covered hotdog

when a man and women errr-eee the bed while the women is on her period, the man comes out with a bloody penis
Allison and Ethan were working it hard and when they decided to stop, Ethan had a ketchup covered hotdog
by Bum bum gum March 26, 2015
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ass ketchup

😀😃😄😁😆😅🤣😂🙂🙃😉😊😇🥰😍🤩😘😗☺😚😙🥲😋😛😜🤪😝🤑🤗🤭🤫🤔🤐🤨😐😑😶😏😒🙄😬🤥😌😔😪🤤😴😷🤒🤕🤮🤧🥵🥴😵🤯🤠🥳🥸😎🤓🧐😕😟🙁☹😮😯😲😳🥺😦😧😨😰😥😢😭😱😖😣😞😓😩😫🥱😤😠😺😸😹😻😼😽🙀😿😾 ass ketchup
by ¥en Ashiyo July 23, 2022
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Ass ketchup

The results of crapping a mixture of shit and blood, resulting in a very unpleasant smell.
"Hey bro, don't look in the toilet, the bowls full of ass ketchup!"
by Oceani's Cursed Word Drawer August 04, 2021
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Ass Ketchup

A sexual position where a guy has sex with a woman in either her ass or pussy until she bleeds and then makes her lick it off his cock.
Hey Anthony, what did you do last night?

I got this girl to do an Ass Ketchup with me and it was amazing but she was quite toothy.
by BigBojo February 22, 2022
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