Ryan Reynolds situation

A situation in which a straight man can say smash (while speaking about another man) and have it not be seen as homosexual in any way.

Guy 1 looking at a picture of someone eligible "Smash, and it's a Ryan Reynolds situation"

by Horse Denier October 23, 2025

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A hostage situation

That I did not create. You CHOSE a hostage situation. You chose the dystopian harassment for ME even if it is only happening to me (which it isn't and if the impact has lessened that's another thing for which I'm not being given credit) you CHOSE that and now YOU WANT ME to chose... The thing YOU want to happen. You want me to chose to walk away emptyhanded without you having to interact with me and then never retaliate for the rest of my life. DO I OWE YOU A FAVOR, BITCH!? ARE WE FRIENDS!? WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!? Do you want me to drive your pregnant wife to the hospital for you too? You need a babysitter? How about a foot-rub? That is how HE thinks at a fundamental level! I'm here to serve him and when he steals from me, I also need to make the choices he wants me to make. I'm his servant! That's what it is. I'm doing this guy favors because I owe him something. I either murder kids are his discretion or he locks me up for an "unsanctioned child murder." You got the SANCTIONED ones where he orders a drone strike on you house and then you go the UNSANCTIONED ones where they steal a guys dissertation and that guy stabs a little girl to death in a gas station because what, are you never going to bring your kids to a gas station? THAT is one of the unsanctioned one. So HERE I got to make an appeal to get my child murder sanction by the government.

Hym "And the appeals process is a NIGHTMARE because they just bark the things you say back at you like a parrot. You almost need to carry crackers around I your pocket. And we are just best friends all of us. But usually to get sanctioned you need to get fired explicitly for murder but I just designed the AI they are going to use to make your lives dystopian nightmares. And really it's racist! If I was a JEW... HE WOULD HAND ME THE GUN AND PAT ME ON THE BACK! And then he would GIVE ME A BILLION DOLLARS for the inconvenience of making me have to walk a couple of steps to grab the money from them. It really is absurd. It's almost unbelievable that a hostage situation doesn't work on the Jews! You'd think the would just be like 'Oh god no! Please! Take my kids instead! Here! Here are the keys to my house and car! Don't forget my wallet sir!' Heheheh... JooOooOoooOoos!"

by Hym Iam November 11, 2025

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the dequavious pork of the situation

The elephant in the room

Once mastered, this word can be adapted, like, "this is so dequavie," or, "what the dequavie (WTD)"

(noun)

"The dequavious pork of the situation is that he is lying to me!"

"Once you grasp the dequavious pork of the situation, you can understand where I'm coming from"

by boofinthetrap November 21, 2025

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the dequavious pork of the situation

The elephant in the room

Once mastered, this word can be adapted, like, "this is so dequavie," or, "what the dequavie (WTD)"

(noun)

"The dequavious pork of the situation is that he is lying to me!"

"Once you grasp the dequavious pork of the situation, you can understand where I'm coming from"

by boofinthetrap November 21, 2025

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