Canada's History is one of the world's most extraordinarily controversial sex acts, and is infamous for being notoriously difficult to perform. It gained popularity in 1987 when PETA launched a campaign against the act because of its mercilessly cruel treatment of animals (the iconic "Ban Canada's History" campaign).
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
He's crazy you know -- I heard he once did a Canada's History with that chick who works at the 7-11.
by Capillarian February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. the sexual act of having a group of men with explosive diarrhea defecate into an unconscious woman's vagina. After all the men present have made bowel movements, the woman is hung upside down by her feet. The men then take turns guzzling maple syrup and then inducing vomit onto the woman's vagina. The woman, still hung by her feet, is spun around in circles so the rope, cable or chain used to bind her, when let go, causes her to spin wildly out of control. As this happens, the men masturbate. The last man to ejaculate is punched in the face until the suspended woman stops spinning and comes to a complete and total rest. That man is then adorned with moose antlers and must sit on a replica of the stanley cup whittled from the largest log of a beaver dam. The replica also must be filled with poutine (a canadian cuisine consisting of french fries, cottage cheese and gravy). He must remain on this replica until the suspended woman has awakened and consumed all of the aforementioned contents of her vagina with a red and white candy-striped crazy straw.
Stephen Colbert had to suspend his show for a week because he stayed home sick from participating in Canada's History.
by bar britters February 5, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. is when you take maple syrup and cover moose antlers and the Stanley Cup. Then once they are fully covered in the syrup. You shuve then up your girls vagina in till it is all up there.
by conec February 4, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. When a man takes his hand and sticks it up a moose's asshole all the way to the elbow while his Courtney (see definition of Courtney) licks the Moose's testicles and fingers the guys ass. Then the man takes a handful of moose shit and smears it on the Courtney's face and sticks his penis in the moose until he blows he is close to cumming then blows his load over the Courtney then they both suck the moose off until the animal blows its load all over the Courtney.
I was reading about Canada's History in the Beaver today and am not sure where I could find a Courtney willing to get a moose testicle in the mouth.
by Cobi_39 February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. the most absolutely depraved sex act one can imagine. it involved caribou antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
Man: Dude, my girlfriend and I got a crash course in Canada's History last night.
Friend: Oh, THAT'S why you smell like maple syrup.
Friend: Oh, THAT'S why you smell like maple syrup.
by ihavrocketlegs February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. a sexual act so distasteful that truck stop hookers will charge double and 2 packs of cigarettes to get the gerbil back out and unplug the jumper cables.
by wapeaka February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. it means to take a Stanley cup filled with the shit of Ryan Reynolds and Avril Lavigne lubricated with Maple Syrup inside the vaginal area of a transgender, while inserting the ends of a moose's antlers into the rectum's of both the transgender and the other person.
Ironically the first known usage of this sexual act occurred as soon as The Beaver changed its name to Canada's History by Stephen Colbert and 72 transgender virgins of unknown origin.
The addition of canadian animals into the sexual act itself is optional.
Ironically the first known usage of this sexual act occurred as soon as The Beaver changed its name to Canada's History by Stephen Colbert and 72 transgender virgins of unknown origin.
The addition of canadian animals into the sexual act itself is optional.
Damn, did you see what Toby did to that transgender? He totally Canada's Historyed the shit out of it!
by VivaLaColdplaya May 16, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.