A suburbanite with delusions of being a wild-west frontiersman.
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
The suburban cowboy, Johnwaynus imitatus, is easily identified by its Reagan/Bush '84 trucker cap. Do not approach under any circumstance or it may attempt unsolicited discussion of gas prices or q anon.
by Chuck Shiesty August 3, 2022
Get the Suburban Cowboymug. (sexual) A male that places his penis in between the cushion of a chair of sofa in order to sexually stimulate himself.
Joe: Dude, I haven't been laid in 6 months.
Tom: Ouch, how do you get by?
Joe: I've become a cushion cowboy.
Tom: Ouch, how do you get by?
Joe: I've become a cushion cowboy.
by Ben E-wing November 16, 2010
Get the cushion cowboymug. by K_L_M16 November 26, 2018
Get the Cowboy grantmug. A gang founded in 2007 in Otaki, New Zealand.
Well known for travelling New Zealand and having GOOD TIMES!!
Sponsored by Dou Bros.
Well known for travelling New Zealand and having GOOD TIMES!!
Sponsored by Dou Bros.
by stupid retard January 24, 2019
Get the Anal Cowboysmug. guy 1: that girl must be single.
guy 2: why do you say that?
guy 1: because she's looking like real sad cowboy over there
guy 2: why do you say that?
guy 1: because she's looking like real sad cowboy over there
by littlecowboy3 March 17, 2020
Get the sad cowboymug. A small town country feller down on his luck who seeks fun in local bars and loves to take big dumps at gas stations.
Man that volunteer firefighter loves to party and listen to old country music. Must be a cornbread cowboi
by Uncle Otis April 7, 2023
Get the Cornbread cowboimug. Less than; a fake; a poser. ALSO: a traditional rough neck who's been caught doing things unacceptable on a cattle drive, such as enjoying fresh Mimosas & getting mani/pedis, using hair conditioner, et cetera.
"Did you see Johnny in the field last week?"
"Man, that Coronado Cowboy ain't shit. I saw him having brunch on Sunday!"
"Man, that Coronado Cowboy ain't shit. I saw him having brunch on Sunday!"
by J. William January 4, 2022
Get the Coronado Cowboymug.