Smell like Jared

A polite way of saying someone smells like shit.

Wow! You smell like Jared.

by Colonel Fucking Mexico November 30, 2015

Jared from subway

likes to give little kids a footlong in the other end of there body.....

Jared FROM SUBWAY then sticks his footlong in a kids throat and than mayo slips out.....

by THE MANDALORIAN 27 January 22, 2021

Jared Lee Loughner

The alleged psychotic gunman that went on a shooting rampage in January 2011. Characterized as being a virgin, talking in circles and simple riddles, and shaving all the hair off his head.

Jared Lee Loughner: If the turd is brown, then brown is the turd.

by The Simpletonian January 18, 2011

He went to Jared

An annoying phrase that will NOT catch on, so shut up.

On a poorly written commercial with bad actors...

Girlfran #1: OMG Gurrrl He went to Jared!
Girlfran #2: What?
Girlfran #1: Gurrrl! He went to Jared! He bought me diamonds!
Girlfran #2: Is that some attempted universal symbol for proposing? If it is then it's retarded and isn't going to catch on. In fact I doubt that people who actually got stuff from there say that. So shut up.
Girlfran #1: ...

by jkbena612 December 22, 2009

jared de wet

He is a person of great interest
Exellent boyfriend materail and lover
Over a size 10 dick size
Very succesful
Lovable
Funny

Atheltic
Extremly loyal to his lover

Very tall and big built but not fat

Great hair

I wish i was like jared de wet
I want jared de wet to break my virginaty

by Charles 7011 March 04, 2017

my nigga jared

My Nigga Jared is a very nice, calm, and intellectual human being. Working at local pizza parlor as a delivery man, and graduating from a high school that doesn't exist he also had a infant child born into life while he was a Junior in High School. With a degree in Weed, and the Art of Smoking and being a Freeloader he has made many invaluable life choices with his family and Girlfriend.

My Nigga Jared is Raw AF.

by McLovin,Benchek July 23, 2017

Jared Leto Special

A sexual position of controlled thrusting, such as while pressed against a wall, whereupon the man is able to paint the fingernails of his partner for mutual sexual pleasure and a great manicure.

You wont believe what I got up to last night, I met this super hot guy and he gave me a Jared Leto Special, totally love my new nails.

by Little Venice January 28, 2014