Chester Mustache

A super thin, scraggly, tinsy-winsy pathetic attempt at a mustache. Usually found on a creepy middle-aged guy who doesnt get laid unless it comes out of his wallet. Sadly molesters usually have them (hence the name).
Rachel: OMG Richard has a chester mustache!!
Chris: dude thats effing nasty!
Rachel: i know! and he wonders why he cant get a girl friend...
by !Sexy_Time! December 26, 2009
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Law Enforcement Mustache

Most cops seem to believe they will get more respect if they grow a "Law Enforcement Mustache." It's a great accessory to wrap-around and/or Top Gun style sunglasses.

When you see the Law Enforcement Mustache, you know to stop playing around.

The Law Enforcement Mustache is not to be confused with the "Football Coach Mustache."
"Damn Tommy, I don't think we're going to get away with a warning because the trooper that pulled us over has a Law Enforcement Mustache."
by Man Dreaming Butterfly February 02, 2004
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Mustache Trumpet Man

That guy on the trumpet music book who wants to "entice" you with his trumpet music.
He will say that his 'trumpet' is big, but its not.
P: "Hey guys, let's look at all these books!"
B: "What's this one"
J: "OMAGOSH, IT'S A CREEPY MUSTACHE TRUMPET MAN!!!!!!!!!1"
P: "It looks kinda like my dad"

Everyone stare at P
by AwesomeSexyPants May 16, 2011
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March Mustache Madness

A month long celebration of the mustache held in the month of march. Mustaches of all types are encouraged.
Guy:" Hey, what's with the mustache?"
Man:" It's March Mustache Madness dumbshit!"
by Charlie knows more than you November 06, 2008
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red milk mustache

Its what you get when eat a girl out on her period
guy1, i ate this girl out and she gave me a red milk mustache !
guy2, she must have been on her period.
by rev_b April 09, 2009
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High School mustache

Adj. 1. The mustache that appears usually on young men when starting to go through puberty. 2. Very thin mustache with thin fine hairs 3. Usually found on pale zit faced nerds, rednecks and Mexicans.
"The guy is 28 and only needs to shave once a month. At best he can get a high school mustache.
by Caz July 17, 2004
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mustache monorail

one person getting railed/dry-humped/oral sex by a single unit that happens to have a hairy upper lip.
guy #1: what did you do last night?"
guy #2: i mustached monorailed some bitch all night long!
guy #3: trust me, you're welcome. do not mustache monorail my mother ever again!
guy #2: deal.....
by eatshitanddie666 May 30, 2010
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