Today

The day it is now. Yesterday is always in the past and even tomorrow will be today when we get there.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow's far off, today is for living. Enjoy it.

by Ceejay44 August 26, 2017

Not Today *cough*

Calling in sick at the last second before you need to report. The cough at the end is an poor attempt to fake sick.

Good morning Intertek how can i direct your call.

Nancy its Bryce I know work starts in 30 seconds but Not today *Cough* I'm sick.

by The Blue Falcon September 9, 2009

Today

The current pre-determined expanse of time consisting of 24 hours that is unfolding at the exact moment that your consciousness is expierencing for the first time.

Today is a great day.

by A-person_yay May 9, 2014

Toddy-Lou

a term for a cigaret; usually used in north eastern Pennsylvania

Yo wanna go have a Toddy-lou? I'm Jonesin' right now!

by Todder Box December 4, 2012

Today years old

Phrase used by those who got by in school with C's and refuse to properly refer to how old they are/were.

I was today years old when I found out that the straw holes in Capri Suns are also the dot on the i, why didn't school teach me this????????

by Ani_Mike June 2, 2019

I pooped today

This means that you had excriment leave your anus.

I just sat on the toilet and I pooped today. I also Tweeted about it.

by Smitty134 May 5, 2011

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today

"I'd like you to lend me some money"

Etymology is from the cartoon "Popeye", where the character Wimpy would frequently utter this phrase. He was a glutton, and would consume burgers at a ferocious rate but could rarely pay for his habit.

The phrase implies the underlying feeling that the person will unlikely actually pay for the hamburger (or whatever) on Tuesday (or ever, for that matter.

I told my bank that I'd gladly 'pay them tuesday for a hamburger today' to buy that new sportscar, but they wouldn't approve me.

by Don Engel May 17, 2004