Tina is a breathe of fresh air. She is unlike anyone you’
ve ever met. She drinks like a fish but becomes an Audubon Guide to every fucking North American
bird you’ve ever seen when she’s drunk. Some
people think her know-it-all-attitude is annoying but her husband thinks she’s hilarious. When Tina isn’t partying by a campfire you can find her doing a jigsaw puzzle or reading a book. Tina is a good friend but if you cross her you’ll likely never talk to Tina again. She doesn’t give a
fuck.
Person1: I wonder which
bird is up in that
tree?
Person
2: Oh, let’s ask Tina, she knows everything.
Tina: You’re listening to a Cedar Waxwing’s thin, lisping cry.