-We at the Church of Google believe the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). We believe there is much more evidence in favour of Google's divinity than there is for the divinity of other more traditional gods.
-We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.
-We have compiled a list of nine proofs which we believe definitively prove Google's title as God.
-From the chruch of google website
Please come and join us
http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/
-We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.
-We have compiled a list of nine proofs which we believe definitively prove Google's title as God.
-From the chruch of google website
Please come and join us
http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/
The Church of Google
The Nine Proofs
» PROOF #1
Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.
» PROOF #2
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.
» PROOF #3
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.
» PROOF #4
Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.
» PROOF #5
Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.
» PROOF #6
Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".
» PROOF #7
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.
» PROOF #8
According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.
God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods"
» PROOF #9
Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidance. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.
The Nine Proofs
» PROOF #1
Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.
» PROOF #2
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.
» PROOF #3
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.
» PROOF #4
Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.
» PROOF #5
Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.
» PROOF #6
Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".
» PROOF #7
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.
» PROOF #8
According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.
God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods"
» PROOF #9
Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidance. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.
by 3002-3038 January 5, 2009
Get the The church of google mug.First coined by a Saskatchewan youth in 2018 to describe the voice of the English version of Google Translate the term was subsequently used and popularised by Stephen Hawking to describe the transgender version of his voice. Since Stephen Hawking's death, however, the term has taken a broader meaning, now referring not specifically to his transgender-voice, but to the voice of English-Google Translate, generally.
Dylan: "Fuck, we gotta read this shitty book in English class by next class and I haven't even read page one!"
John: "Hey, that's fine, just copy and paste the text and get the Lady from Google to read it to you."
Dylan: "That's a great idea!"
(Dylan went on to fail his exam.)
John: "Hey, that's fine, just copy and paste the text and get the Lady from Google to read it to you."
Dylan: "That's a great idea!"
(Dylan went on to fail his exam.)
by Faucet-Wizard June 10, 2018
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When you aren't sure of an answer to a question, you Google the shit out of it to ascertain the answer
Joe: Was Vincent D'onofrio in Mystic Pizza or Full Metal Jacket first?
Toby: Mystic Pizza.
Joe: No way.......I think Full Metal Jacket came out first!
Toby: I am going to Google the shit out of it, and you'll owe me dinner at Oreganos when you're wrong.
Toby: Mystic Pizza.
Joe: No way.......I think Full Metal Jacket came out first!
Toby: I am going to Google the shit out of it, and you'll owe me dinner at Oreganos when you're wrong.
by Sassygurrrrrrl December 6, 2009
Get the Google the shit out of it mug.When a group of people use Google to resolve any debate or argument without checking any other source of information, thereby recognizing Google and it's divine power as the greatest source of information in existence, they let Google take the wheel. Based off of the popular Carrie Underwood song "Jesus take the wheel".
My wife - "We should have turned at that last red light".
Me- "No, we won't turn again until we get to Florida".
My wife- "I'm positive you should have turned at the last red light".
Me- "That's fine . Why don't you get online and enter the address. We will let Google take the wheel and see where we end up turning".
My wife - "You were right, I was wrong. "
Me- "No, we won't turn again until we get to Florida".
My wife- "I'm positive you should have turned at the last red light".
Me- "That's fine . Why don't you get online and enter the address. We will let Google take the wheel and see where we end up turning".
My wife - "You were right, I was wrong. "
by stone definition August 5, 2014
Get the Google take the wheel mug.To browse the Internet for the porns. Usually initiated by a Google search, on Chrome, in incognito mode.
Ryan: bruh my girl broke up with me on Snapchat!
Brad: Just smoke a splif and Google the goods bro. You'll be aight by morning
Brad: Just smoke a splif and Google the goods bro. You'll be aight by morning
by La Furia Latina July 19, 2016
Get the Google the goods mug.When one searches for the definition of something on the internet, to include but not limited to, YouTube.
by PaleDrift February 2, 2019
Get the google it up on the youtube mug.To search for something of any topic on the Google search engine. This phrase was once mentioned on an episode of the popular TV series: COPS
by Barstoolmyass September 10, 2015
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