intensive porpoises

1) malapropism for 'intents and purposes'

2) seriously determined and focused aquatic mammals, dangerous to sharks

For all intensive porpoises, whiskey and vodka will both mess you up in a similar manner if you drink enough

by ichi_san May 2, 2012

Park the porpoise

A reference to placing your penis into your partners cavity ;)

Jimmy asked his girlfriend, "Can I park the porpoise tonight?" ;)

by ZILLAISGAWD August 1, 2017

Porpoise Ass

A phenomenon where your asshole seems to move up to your tailbone before you take a shit. This results in feces being back blasted to the toilet.

I had a terrible case of porpoise ass after eating Taco Bell.

by Boopqwereeee May 7, 2015

porpoising walrus

A suspiciously inept simile (or metaphor)

The original: "Closer inspection revealed that the rest of the body was encased in 2-3 feet of ice, the body prostrate, suspended into the ice like a porpoising walrus." -- Charlie LeDuff, Detroit News, 28 January 2009

Laurel Fortuner, 1992 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winner: ". . . her creamy bosom rising and falling like a temperamental souffle . . ."

Excellent porpoising walrus, Ms. Fortuner!

by jedyca January 29, 2009

pulling the porpoise

to masturbate

I had some down time at work today, so I went into the women's bathroom and started pulling the porpoise.

by xxmetoxx November 5, 2009

tickle the porpoise

v. masturbation

dude, when I saw that pamela Anderson video, I HAD to go tickle the porpoise!

by rascalollie August 10, 2009

Disgruntled Porpoise

When you are having intercourse with your lady friend from behind, and you pull out and try to insert in the back door, she cocks her head sideways and says "Enh enh! Enh enh!" like a disgruntled porpoise

I was getting it on with that girl I picked up at the bar last night, and when I tried to get a little Heiney love, she gave me the disgruntled porpoise!

by Birf October 20, 2012