masturbating

What you were probably doing a few moments ago.

Joe: Whatcha doing?
Jimmy: Masturbating.
Joe: Cool, me too.

masturbating by Chuck Norris' son February 7, 2009

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

Masturbating Monkey by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Macturbating 

Noun: The act of pleasuring oneself through the use of an Apple Product.

Steve got an iPhone5 for his birthday and has been macturbating all weekend

Macturbating by Madhav4 September 14, 2012

Masturbating Muscle 

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.

John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.

Masturbating Muscle by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011

masturhating

The equivalent of a cock block, but when it happens during solo masturbation. Someone knocking on the door while a man is jacking off inside would be masturhating.

Jon: So what'd you do yesterday man?
Alex: I was bored as shit so I was just jacking off until my brother knocked on the door. Totally masturhating.

masturhating by Admiral_A1 July 7, 2010

Masturbating Sally 

Sexual gratification derived from watching a female masturbate with a lisp.

"Do you like it when I touch my puthy?"
"You're such a Masturbating Sally"

Masturbating Sally by Ron Raper January 30, 2017

fat masturbating cow 

a girl that has an oval butt and is cow like

omg leah is such a fat masturbating cow.

fat masturbating cow by Matilda111 December 1, 2010