Masturbatory definition

A masturbatory definition is a self-definition written by someone with a low self esteem or a huge ego. These definitions almost always exaggerate the attractiveness and/or sexual prowess of the subject. They are so named not because they involve a person actually jacking off to their definition (although they often do), but rather because, like masturbation itself, they serve no purpose other than satisfying the one person involved. Urban Dictionary is rife with these definitions, despite the "don't name your friends" policy, presumably because people who write masturbatory definitions have no friends.

Jack showed his peers the masturbatory definition he wrote for himself last night in hopes that they would find him a little more bearable.

by Psycho Robot April 25, 2010

Masturbator

im guessing about...maybe 98% of the world population? maybe just america...

by cherrypopscle007 August 15, 2003

Hater Masturbator

A person that hates and masturbates. They are a loser that is easily jealous and envious of people better than them. They will never amount to anything and never had. Nobody likes them and they always do envy attacks that fail. They are background characters and are useless. They have mental and anger issues, and get mad very easily.

That Hater Masturbator is hating on the best person ever!

by HJJ I November 2, 2023

masturbatorial buttnugget

One who finds great pleasure in farting;releasing noxious fumes from their ass to the point where they either drop a buttnugget in their pants or on the floor

Keith: Oh man! You smell that?
John: Yeah, you need to go the bathroom!
Keith: No, I'm good for now. (keith farts again). Wow! That one felt good!
John: Dude! Go to the bathroom!
Keith: I think I'm done. (keith farts one more time). Oh wow! That one felt great!
John: Keith..one more time - go to the bathroom!
Keith: Oh man.. I just shit my drawers
John: You're such a masturbatorial buttnugget.
Keith: I'm going to the bathroom now.

by BoredInNaples April 20, 2007

masterbaiter

On a fishing boat, one of the three common grades of baiters (those who handle their little fish in hope of attracting a bigger fish).

When I first started this job, I was just an Apprentice, but after long years of conscientious study and hard work, I made it to Journeyman. Now I'm studying hard and trying to work my way up to MasterBaiter!

by DaDebil August 5, 2008

masturbatorium

A location frequently used for one's own masturbation, usually adorned with the fixtures for self stimulation such as pornography, and other turn-ons.

Jeff whacked off in his masturbatorium full of pictures of obese women and Bill Gates.

by Jeffrey Chan March 6, 2004

masturbatory accoutrements

A pretentious expression used to describe one's personal collection of items used to enhance masturbation. (Dirty magazines, dildoes, lubricant etc.)

A way of describing an unenthusiastic sexual partner.
Also can be used to describe how one felt during sexual relations with an untalented or selfish partner.

Once I've retrieved my collection of masturbatory accoutrements, I shall commence with the jerking of my jizzer.

We were sleeping together, but she always just laid there. She was more like a masturbatory accoutrement than a fuck buddy.

All he wanted to do was get off and then leave. For all the pleasure I got out of it, I felt more like a masturbatory accoutrement than someone who'd just gotten laid.

by dumbslut August 10, 2006