Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.

Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant

From the movie 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'. A skeevy loser that hooks up with underage girls because of his job at the mall and ability to drive them to 'the point' in his '78 T-Bird.

"I've known him since high school, and he's still banging 16 year-olds that come into the Radio Shack. He's totally Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant!"

by ~x~barbird~ v January 6, 2009

Consultant Coffee

Any drink that is made or paid for by someone higher up than you. This applies particularly to medical doctors to medical students.

Student 1: "I got consultant coffee today"

Student 2: "jealoussssss"

by sratk2 July 5, 2011

Organic Consulting

this is a new phenomenon in the professional services or consulting industry where consultants are straightforward and truthful with their clients. They are "keeping it real" and cutting out the bullshit. They don't use buzzwords and try to be honest as possible. Like organic food, organic consulting is consulting without fluff.

Your client wants to close their widget factory in China and open it in California. If you practice Organic Consulting you would say "are you nuts, you'll lose money. Don't be an idiot." Whereas, the typical consultant would say "that's an interesting idea, let's investigate further and prepare a business case. We charge $300 per hour for that service."

by VI Island Boy August 24, 2009

Universal Web Consulting

Web consulting companies typically specialize in one or more of the following areas:

-- Web & Graphic Design
-- Search Engine Marketing
-- Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Marketing
-- Organic Lead Generation
-- Social Network Management
-- Social Network Advertising & Marketing
-- eCommerce Setup and Execution
etc
etc
etc

Universal Web Consulting companies are able to assist clients with all of these areas of interest.

I didn't realize that I would need to hire a PPC consulting company after my website was designed. I should have found a universal web consulting company that could have designed my site and helped me with advertising.

by Jack K. White August 19, 2010

Management Consultant

Someone whose job involves mostly solving other people’s problem

As a management consultant, I’m busy solving people’s problem and creating some for myself

by Crazymgmtcslt May 9, 2021

Hollywood Consultant

A functional consultant who through the liberal use of Blue Steel and Magnum mesmerize their clients into believing that they are consistently hard at work when actually the opposite is true. This also applies to their extreme ability to a speak convincingly about their supposed field of expertise while in fact knowing the bare minimum possible. Such consultants can usually be visually identified by their high level of metrosexuality, use of cuticle cream and belief that they are "professionally good looking".

That lead consultant always talks like he knows his stuff, but he doesn't even know how to long into the system and needs to use a reference book to find stuff. He should get the Academy award for best actor for "Best Portrayal of a Consultant on an Implementation"... what a Hollywood Consultant.

by Technical Consultant October 22, 2010