a young man, who is short, fat, ugly, had black curly hair, resembles a whale but is human, tends to lay on the beach as if he is washed up on shore and responds to the name ZG.
by ad991223 November 17, 2009
The beached whale is a term given for a fat or otherwise unattractive person that hits on you at a bar or club and, despite your disinterest or general disgust, this person will try multiple attempts on you, and follow you around.
"i was out last night and this whale totally beached on me."
or
"where were you? there's two hotties wanting to buy us drinks."
"ugh, sorry. beached whale wouldnt get off me."
or
"where were you? there's two hotties wanting to buy us drinks."
"ugh, sorry. beached whale wouldnt get off me."
by tboners January 3, 2012
A girl/boy that thinks they are so skinny and popular when in reality everybody hates them and they are so fat and annoying.
by sorrymargeybabey May 22, 2017
N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.
Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
1) Perfect time to do awkward beached whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.
by Awkwardkingofbeachedwhales March 6, 2012
When someone particularly lazy and/or fat is assigned a task in which they have decided is too hard. They solve the problem by lying on the ground and whining/moaning resembling a beached whale. OR when one or more lazy fat people watch a more fit, less lazy person do work.
Example 1: The Freshman P.E. class got the beached whale Syndrome when they were told to run the mile.
Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome
Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome
by Little Boots May 26, 2009
by WoofWoofWolf November 6, 2011
A couple (especially of college age) that has settled down and consistently pushes away all of their other friends so they can spend all their time together in a relationship. Often times this happens to close friends, and the relationship can mess up even the tightest of friendships over time.
"Man! Todd and Patricia are such a beached whale couple! Todd turned me down multiple times to go to stardollars with her! He used to be my friend!"
"Friend 1: Todd, why don't you hang out with your bro's anymore?
Todd: I don't have bro time so that I can have hoe time!
Friend 1: But what about that trip we planned? And bro's before hoes?
Todd: What trip?
Friend 1: You know, the trip to New York we've been planning for so long?
Todd: Oh, I'm planning that trip with Patricia. Sorry man!
Friend 1: You're in a beached whale relationship, then. I thought we were friends!
Todd: Yeah I'd rather be with Patricia, and my other friends don't matter to me anymore.
Friend 1: How selfish! Well, let me know if you change your mind. Have a good life!
Todd: Oh, I will!"
"Friend 1: Todd, why don't you hang out with your bro's anymore?
Todd: I don't have bro time so that I can have hoe time!
Friend 1: But what about that trip we planned? And bro's before hoes?
Todd: What trip?
Friend 1: You know, the trip to New York we've been planning for so long?
Todd: Oh, I'm planning that trip with Patricia. Sorry man!
Friend 1: You're in a beached whale relationship, then. I thought we were friends!
Todd: Yeah I'd rather be with Patricia, and my other friends don't matter to me anymore.
Friend 1: How selfish! Well, let me know if you change your mind. Have a good life!
Todd: Oh, I will!"
by atreed7 May 3, 2018