shake the hand of the unemployed

For males who are not getting sex on a regular basis, when they go to the toilet to take a piss and when they finish, shake their penis to get off the last few drops of pee. That action is shaking the hand of the unemployed.

Arnold asked Helen where the toilet was, as he needed to go shake the hand of the unemployed.

by Ethal The Frog September 24, 2013

Actively Unemployed

A situation in which a person is completely content while living off of unemployment benefits and thus makes a concerted effort to remain jobless until all unemployment benefits have been exhausted.

Chris: Any luck finding a job this week man?

Greg: Heck no, I am actively unemployed right now!! My life is too good with all this free time off plus I get my unemployment pay... I am not even considering getting another job until my benefits run out. You up for a drink tonight??

by halfway_crooks November 12, 2009

Hardcore Unemployed

something that is so incredibly badass or awesinine that this adjective is the only thing that could possibly come close to describing it. the ultimate superlative word. if you or anything you say gets labeled this for a good reason, then you are pretty much God for that moment. if it's a bad thing, well you are probably about to die.

1. "yeah i could have dated Keira Knightly but i decided not to"
"man, not only does that suck hardcore unemployed but you are the most hardcore unemployed gaywad ever made!"
2. "wow she's so hardcore unemployed loose"
3. "you got me Jaws: the game! wow this is supposed to be so hardcore unemployed!!1!11!!!"
4. snakes on a plane.

by Jarricklietti Productions December 24, 2006

shake hands with the unemployed

what guys who can't get a girlfriend do

When someone has spent too long in the toilet: "Have you been shaking hands with the unemployed?"

by Monodon July 27, 2004

Pre-Unemployed

Since you have not yet been employed full time you are not considered unemployed by the government. This describes the limbo period from when you graduate from College/University and you find a job.

Generally a "Pre-Unemployed" person moves back in with their parents and works odd jobs until a career in their field of study is found.

It is usually a soul crushing period of ones life.

In recent years due to the Recession the number of "Pre-Unemployed" people has grown tremendously.

Thank god I got a job offer before graduation, My sister didn't and she has been Pre-Unemployed for almost a year.

by CmeDiG April 30, 2011

Gainfully unemployed

The act of having the ability, mentally and physically, to work and provide for yourself, but instead you choose to do nothing and rely on the government for your needs.

Despite Bill being gainfully unemployed and contributing nothing to society, he continues to whine relentlessly about income inequality.

by Joedaddy755 September 5, 2021

Onboarding unemployed

Onboarding unemployed: A conditional offer to work for a job but you got fired before you even started.

After doing a finger print a few days later I had to do a wellness and health exam. I ask for special testing accommodations but I didn’t get any answer. I was supposed to get a start date but didn’t receive my onboarding papers. I guess I got “onboarding unemployed.” She told me that they’re no longer hiring.

by Bigbirddebelen October 19, 2022