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Morning Tragedy

When you wake up with an enormous stiff on, but fail to utilise it to its full potential, ie. cracking one out. This most often occurs when you are late for work/school, or you are at someone else's house, but why should that stop you? Be late for work or school because you were bashing one off, tell your boss that you were doing that and he will either have enormous respect for you or she will be extremely turned on and you will be able to give her the best office shag with an ending in production ever. NOICE.

The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."

"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"yes"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"you're fired."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."
by lost in transfusion June 2, 2009
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Greekspearean Tragedy

An event or occurrence of such shockingly sad and violent proportions, it rivals the events and acts carried out in Greek, and/or Shakespearean epic.
Did you see Game of Thrones last night? It was like a Greekspearean Tragedy!
by Bob-A June 23, 2014
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The tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise

an ironic story the jedi would not tell you
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"
"No."
"I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis... was a Dark Lord of The Sith, so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians... to create... life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side, he could even keep the ones he cared about... from dying."
"He could actually... save people from death?"
"The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities... some consider to be unnatural."
"Wh- What happened to him?"
"He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was... losing his power. Which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew. Then his apprentice killed him in in sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself."
"Is it possible to learn this power?"
"Not from a Jedi."
by CC-8826 August 19, 2022
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man bag tragedy

a man bag tragedy occurs when
A, you find yourself purchasing one.
B, when man bag strap becomes an over the shoulder boulder holder
C, when a young man of a chavvy attire accompanies his outfit with a small bag that has capacity for the essentials.
D, when an addidas tracksuit is accompanied by an addidas man bag, a polo and a nos balloon.
E, pretending to not care when wearing a man bag that does nothing to contribute to your masculinity
'oh that man bag looks so cool'
'dont suppose youve got a manpon in your man bag'
steve 'hey that man bag is so much better than mine' James 'yes it really brings out the colour in my puff'
'hey look theres an undercover homo with a man bag tragedy'
by leroymarshall May 19, 2013
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tragedies

The opposite of jokes; the antithesis of cool. Invented by Nerdfighter John Green.
Hey, remember when you stole my ex-girlfriend? That was really tragedies.
by valerie2776 April 22, 2008
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tiny tragedy

Dude...look at Dave's tiny tragedy!!
by Kim February 18, 2005
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Attraction to Tragedy

Possesing a harsh amount of Idiocy, lacking motor skills in everyday happenings such as social interaction, empathy, and/or role model behaviors.
Generally unreasonably aggressive for no apparent reason; irrational.
What's with those people who act like retards but aren't actually special?
Oh, they just have an Attraction To Tragedy...
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