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Teabagger

A republican who:

1. Protests taxation WITH representation (just because you disagree with it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist)

2. Thinks colonial Americans were prophetic, just because they lived during an earlier time period

3. Falsely claims that the 2009 Teabagging Festival was "bipartisan"

4. Agrees with Joe the Plumber on most major issues

5. Agrees with Glenn Beck, but can't explain exactly what he or they stand for

6. Doesn't understand Constitutional law

7. Doesn't understand what democracy is

8. Blindly uses the words "socialism" and "communism" without knowing what the fuck they mean

9. claims not to be a republican

10. Criticizes democrats, even though their own party has been in office for the past 8 years

11. Thinks the GOP needs to be "more conservative" to get more votes

12. Will listen to every high school dropout before hearing the opinion of ONE intellectual

13. Believes that Fox News is "fair and balanced"

14. Claims to be independent, but certainly doesn't have any liberal beliefs, and listens to guest speakers from the CPAC conference

15. Is a closet anarchist/Paultard

16. Thrives on a mob mentality

17. Prides himself/herself on doing everything he/she has made fun of when Bush was in office

18. Says things like "Where's MY bailout" without understanding how the economy works

19. Like Glenn Beck, has an extremely high word-to-meaning ratio

20. Uses TONS of words from the GOPAC memos of 1990

21. Thinks Russia is still a "threat" to the U.S.

22. Thinks China is still a "threat" to the U.S.

23. Thinks Cuba is still a "threat" to the U.S.

24. Thinks Europeans hate living in Europe

25. Doesn't believe Obama's actual birth certificate is real, but has no problems with McCain's ties to the Iran-Contra Affair or the Keating Five

26. Would rather have the GOP tell them which hole they can put their own DICK into, than raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans from 36% to 39%

27. Doesn't realize that they actually benefit from the stimulus package

28. Is only teabagging because Sean Hannity told them to

29. Says they like books by Ayn Rand, but cannot correctly pronounce her name

30. Gets their information from Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Google searches, YouTube videos, partisan blogs, and Wikipedia
"No taxation without representation!"

--"Um, wasn't Barack Obama DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED?"

"Well, yeah..."

--"And didn't he win fair and square?"

"Well, ACORN..."

--"Where did you learn about ACORN?"

"Um, Michael Savage said..."

--"Didn't Michael Savage also say that most autistic children are just 'putzes' who need to shut up?"

"Yeah, but..."

--"And how's the stock market doing today?"

"It's soaring." :(

--"It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

--"Now what did you learn?"

"Don't be a teabagger on national TV until I have proof that Obama's economic policy has actually done some damage."

--"That's right, and it hasn't yet, has it?"

"No." :'(
by jrappa May 4, 2009
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teabagger

A person who believes that wasting billions of taxpayer dollars on war and tax cuts is okay and that criticizing the president automatically makes you an anti-American traitor, but only if the president is a white Republican. If the president is a black Democrat, it's suddenly okay to brandish assault weapons at his rallies, call him a communist socialist Marxist racist Nazi terrorist nigge...whoops, Muslim. Teabaggers are typically obese inbred southern WASPs who are still upset that they lost the Civil War. Most of them can't spell worth a damn and think "nuclear" is pronounced "nookyular". Despite what they say, 99% of teabaggers are white and Republican.
The teabaggers at yesterday's rally waved signs claiming that the Civil Right's Act is communist and unAmerican.
by rtv0587 January 9, 2011
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Teabagger toilet

A toilet with a water level so high when a guy sits down his testicles touch the water!
Jim was caught off guard when he sat down and his balls got wet, frigin Teabagger toilet!!
by tatsmec January 5, 2017
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Dark Dark Road to Teabaggery

1. A time when numerous drunk men, ala a bachelor party, are without women and are falling asleep.
"I watched Al fall asleep, it looks like he is taking the Dark Dark Road to Teabaggery."
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snorkeling teabagger

1. n. A man that both (a) dips his scrotum and testicles across the nose and mouth of another person while laying his penis across the remainder of their face. (as if dipping a tea bag into hot water) and (b) receives the same.

2. n. A conservative activist who is so ignorant that they protest against tax cuts (that benefit them) by holding a sign that says: "Don't cut my Medicare to pay for your Socialized Medicine."
Congressman Massa was a snorkeling teabagger with his barely legal page.

Billy Ray cheered while he watched the snorkeling teabaggers protest new taxes on FOX news even though the signs were unrelated to the protest.
by FoxNewsFred March 22, 2010
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wet teabaggery

The telling of outlandish stories and making of outrageous requests for the sake of the lulz.
Jeffery: Man, my dog ate my bicycle, can I have 100 bucks for a new one?

Steve: Man, that's just a load of wet teabaggery!
by slurpstur April 9, 2010
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snorkling teabagger

1. n. A man that both (a) dips his scrotum and testicles across the nose and mouth of another person while laying his penis across the remainder of their face. (as if dipping a tea bag into hot water) and (b) receives the same.

2. n. A conservative activist who is so ignorant that they protest against tax cuts (that benefit them) by holding a sign that says: "Don't cut my Medicare to pay for your Socialized Medicine."
Congressman Massa was a snorkling teabagger with his barely legal page.

Billy Ray cheered while he watched the teabaggers protest on FOX news.
by FoxNewsFred March 21, 2010
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