ass crack of the bed

the space between the wall and the bed that you get stuck in when you roll over too far

"OMG you guys, last night you shoved me into the ass crack of the bed."

"Eff you broke the outlet."

by Andee Pitzz December 19, 2008

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sweating the bed

the damp, disgusting wetness one feels upon waking up in a bed that they have just moistened with their own sweat, not urine. nightmares and fevers are frequent causes.

"man, i totally sweat the bed last night"
"that's gross. your always sweating the bed"
"what? i changed the sheets"

by Jessica O'Neil January 27, 2008

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sketch the bed

An exclamation used as a reaction to hearing some information about incredibly sketch behaviour. Derived from the common Bristolian saying "shit the bed".

Jon : "Did you hear about how he bootystepped 10 different people in 2 weeks?"
Chris : "What the fuck? Sketch the bed!"

by wl2009 February 9, 2009

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Like crime scene investigators, but figuratively, wear 'white gloves' and clean up the bed (the crime scene) after an extra marital or secret sexual affair to get rid of the evidence left behind i.e. semen, cum, etc.

Stephanie and Sam had to white glove the bed after having sex so Sam's boyfriend wouldn't suspect anything.

by NeriumKiss June 24, 2016

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Shit the bed

When something goes horribly wrong, or mechanically or electronically dies.

"I hate my Samsung. I only had it a week before it shit the bed. I'm getting an iPhone."
When seeing the blue screen of death on your laptop: "Fuck! My computer just shit the bed!"
The lawnmower sputters to a stop in the middle of the yard. "There she goes--damn lawnmower just shit the bed.
After a disastrous first date: "Billy cooked for that hot girl on their first date. Talk about shitting the bed.

by Ms. Awful May 21, 2015