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Zoeb's Postulate

A postulate that can be used to conclude anything without any counter-arguments to object it.

It defies Newton's Laws, objects Chuck Norris, and is Bruce Lee's secret weapon.
"If I have 5 apples and eat 2 apples, how much apples do I have?"
"You have 9 apples"
"No...how do you get 9 apples?"
"Zoeb's Postulate"
by Demolition5 February 3, 2012
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postmodernism

Postmodernism is a cargo cult. It seeks to duplicate the form of rational inquiry, while lacking the substance. It's children dressing up in parents' clothes, and complaining about things they don't understand, like taxes and sciatica, for no better reason than that is what they see adults doing with their time. Monkey see, monkey do.

Postmodernists believe that if they make their terminology sufficiently obscurantist, sesquipedalian, and circumloquatious, nobody will notice the lack of substance. To a large extent, they are correct in that belief.

Some postmodern philosophers (like Baudrillard) are beyond help, while others (like Foucault) are largely salvageable. This must be judged on a case-by-case basis, but not without boots to wade through the exceedingly thick bullshit that permeates the entire idea-space.

When you start getting to ideas such as "science is sexist because it probes the natural world (which is the sacred feminine) against its will, thus committing rape" it's time to throw the document in the fire. It's important to leave a lot of room around the fire, though, as you've probably underestimated how much pomo literature is totally worthless.
Jack: I just learned about postmodernism in college, and now I totally believe in it, and self-identify as such.

Jill: You and every other gullible sophomore looking for an intellectual family where you can't possibly be wrong, you fucking latte-sipping coward.
by R0rd_Er337 February 28, 2009
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Related Words

playing possum

a possum will often act dead when faced with a situation it doesn't want to deal with.

Playing possum, when someone comes to your house that you don't want to talk to, so you act like your not home.
Joe "Hey greg said he dropped over your place earlier, weren't you home?"

Darren "I was home, just didn't want to talk to him so I was playing possum!"
by levin_rc July 18, 2009
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Posthump

Slang. Describes the situation in which a person, most commonly a UNIX user, posts pornography of a guy humping a girl on his account's website, gets the admin in trouble, and gets his account deleted. Refers to the original offense in which the person's username was actually "posthump"
Yeah, Pier pulled a posthump again.
by EagleRock February 17, 2003
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Possum's Haystack

n: The gnarliest, nappiest, most tangled thicket of pubic hair known to mankind.

Many different species of animals may inhabit the possum's haystack, because of the multiple ecosystems grown over time.

Nobody really knows how people become inflicted with the possum's haystack, however, experts do believe that it could possibly obtained from little to no maintenance to the "under rug" for many, many years. The condition, however, is fatal.
Reginald M. Nooker was the most famous case of possum's haystack. He did not trim his pubic hair for 39 years. His hair follicles were so overactive that they did not grow long, but thick, and tough, and they curved back and around in every possible direction. He broke many chainsaws simply trying to find his penis.
by SpaceDonkey January 24, 2011
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Piss Posturing

Piss Posturing = Personal Interest in Social Situations (PISS). Some people fake that they have a sincere personal interest towards one individual in front of others in a social situation. Imagine a CEO holding court at a work function dinner table asking questions of a new junior associate. In the case of Piss Posturing, BOTH the person showing the interest, and the person receiving the interest KNOW that the person showing the interest doesn't give a damn about the other person. It's purely a SHOW, a posturing, to show others how personable and humble the person showing the interest is.

The person being shown attention feels as if he/she is being PISSED ON, and both he and the other person know it. Down deep, despite smiles on the faces, the junior associate is thinking "You don't care about me, you're pissing all over me in front of these people and there's nothing I can do about it."
She's an annoying Piss Posturing socialite. She showed a lot of interest in me at the dinner table, but couldn't remember my name when we left the party.
by Chris Rickety Spritz March 24, 2017
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shonvel possum

when you finger your possum for a fortnite skin
did hear about the shonvel possum shonvel finger banged his possum for A fortnite skin
by big woop woop May 16, 2019
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