When dealing with a lying-ass motherfucker, the Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient (LAMC)is the multiplier (generally around .39) added to any numbers (such as income, number of recent sexual relations, cost of automobile, amount of alcohol consumed, length of prison sentence, etc) quoted by said lying-ass motherfucker, with the intent of approximating a truer estimate of the referenced events.
The actual value of the LAMC fluctuates depending on the relative purity of the lying-ass motherfucker in question and must be adjusted accordingly. A LAMC of .8 or .9 is only appropriate for a "part-time" or a "fly-by-night" lying-ass motherfucker, while a true, pathological lying-ass motherfucker often necessitates a .1 or even a .05!
Use a known quantity to assign a LAMC value to the lying-ass motherfuckers in your life. If, for instance, a lying ass motherfucker at your work claims he made a cool $120 in tips over the course of his shift when you spotted him pocketing a paltry $45, you can safely place his LAMC at .375, give or take a few hundredths.
Once a LAMC is established, it tends to remain fairly constant, varying only in cases of extreme mental excitement, anguish, or upheaval. Lying-ass motherfuckers who are manic drunks, for example, often require a lower LAMC value when they are on the sauce. Tears in the beer, however, can indicate that a higher value should be used ("in vino veritas" rings true, for depressive drunk lying-ass motherfuckers at least).
A final note: the LAMC only applies to numbers which the lying-ass motherfucker has motive to inflate (like the number of people it took to beat the shit out of him last night downtown). For instances where a lower number would seem "cooler" (such as the number of statuatory rape charges on his permanent record) a Reverse Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient (RLAMC) must be employed. The RLAMC will be covered in a later article.
The actual value of the LAMC fluctuates depending on the relative purity of the lying-ass motherfucker in question and must be adjusted accordingly. A LAMC of .8 or .9 is only appropriate for a "part-time" or a "fly-by-night" lying-ass motherfucker, while a true, pathological lying-ass motherfucker often necessitates a .1 or even a .05!
Use a known quantity to assign a LAMC value to the lying-ass motherfuckers in your life. If, for instance, a lying ass motherfucker at your work claims he made a cool $120 in tips over the course of his shift when you spotted him pocketing a paltry $45, you can safely place his LAMC at .375, give or take a few hundredths.
Once a LAMC is established, it tends to remain fairly constant, varying only in cases of extreme mental excitement, anguish, or upheaval. Lying-ass motherfuckers who are manic drunks, for example, often require a lower LAMC value when they are on the sauce. Tears in the beer, however, can indicate that a higher value should be used ("in vino veritas" rings true, for depressive drunk lying-ass motherfuckers at least).
A final note: the LAMC only applies to numbers which the lying-ass motherfucker has motive to inflate (like the number of people it took to beat the shit out of him last night downtown). For instances where a lower number would seem "cooler" (such as the number of statuatory rape charges on his permanent record) a Reverse Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient (RLAMC) must be employed. The RLAMC will be covered in a later article.
Andrew: Man, Jacob was wasted when I came in last night! He said he drank a whole twelve pack when he was out with Tina!
Joe: Man, fuck that noise. You know that Jacob's Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient is a good .25 easy. He drank three beers, cried for a while, got Tina's voicemail, got ten other girls' voicemails, watched TV, and then passed out on the couch, which is where you found him when you came in.
Andrew: You're right, man. Dude's a lying-ass motherfucker. I don't know what I was thinking.
Joe: Man, fuck that noise. You know that Jacob's Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient is a good .25 easy. He drank three beers, cried for a while, got Tina's voicemail, got ten other girls' voicemails, watched TV, and then passed out on the couch, which is where you found him when you came in.
Andrew: You're right, man. Dude's a lying-ass motherfucker. I don't know what I was thinking.
by squizzot May 1, 2009
Get the Lying-ass Motherfucker Coefficient mug.Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster. So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close. - Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
by brightwhiteappl May 26, 2010
Get the lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off mug.Related Words
lymington
• Lyming
• Lymington Waffle
• Lying
• laming
• lamington
• liming
• Lying Bitch
• Lemington Leith
• lying bastard
by blah September 17, 2003
Get the lying bastard mug.lying is good for dealing with authority figures.
For example:
boss: Joe! Did you get that report finished?
Joe: Yes, I'll have it on your desk by lunch.
where Joe hasn't got the report finished.
For example:
boss: Joe! Did you get that report finished?
Joe: Yes, I'll have it on your desk by lunch.
where Joe hasn't got the report finished.
by Darth Azule February 9, 2010
Get the lying mug.When a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend pretends to be asleep when you get home after a late night out, so they can tear you a new one when you wake up.
I tried to slip into bed last night without Megan noticing, but it turns out she was lying in wake. She told me this morning when she was chewing my ass.
by slinger91 May 9, 2009
Get the Lying in Wake mug.When someone across the internet makes unbelievable claims without any proof of backing it up and does it repeatedly. They usually do it because they have low self-esteem and want people to like them. Since nobody really knows if someone over the internet is lying or telling the truth.
Person1: Yeah, so I've had sex with over 100 girls, I'm a millionaire, I've got way over 500 cars, and I live in a mansion.
Person2: Oh cool, can I see some pictures of your mansion and cars?
Person1: Oh, sorry, I don't have a camera =(.
Person2: So let me get this straight, you're a millionaire and you live in a mansion, but you can't even buy a measly camera? Dude, you have ILS.
Person1: What's ILS?
Person2: Internet Lying Syndrome.
Person2: Oh cool, can I see some pictures of your mansion and cars?
Person1: Oh, sorry, I don't have a camera =(.
Person2: So let me get this straight, you're a millionaire and you live in a mansion, but you can't even buy a measly camera? Dude, you have ILS.
Person1: What's ILS?
Person2: Internet Lying Syndrome.
by Tomajko April 15, 2008
Get the internet lying syndrome mug.