Dutch Lobster

The Dutch Lobster is not a sexual act, it's a Lobster from Holland. However, it sounds like a sexual act, at least to British and American ears.

The joke is asking someone if they know what a 'Dutch Lobster' is, and laughing as they explain the most lurid sexual act they can think of.

The term was coined by Simon Travaglia as part of his satirical column 'BOFH' on The Register website in 23rd September 2005

"What the hell's a Dutch lobster?" the Boss asks.
"You've not travelled, have you?" the friend sighs, shaking his head.

by SoxxDay July 31, 2015

Ketchup on a Lobster

When working as a professional in your field, you are usually faced with input from colleagues that have different and often over-bearing opinions. Sometimes they beat down your expertise to where there is no choice but to let them have it their way. It is a modern day "Pearls before Swine" when you give in, but it beats getting high blood pressure. Let it go.

Some people are hell-bent on putting their "taint" on your project even though they don't have your skills.

"The producer kept beating me down until I made the CD cover polka dot. I let him have his ketchup on a lobster"

by Billiest March 8, 2010

lobsters

Phoebe Buffay's theory that lobsters link claws and mate for life.

The person you are supposed to be with the rest of your life.

Phoebe: (in reference to Ross and Rachel) hang in there, it's gonna happen
Ross: Okay, now how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster.. come on your guys, it's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. ... you can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank holding claws

by ohitssunny February 28, 2010

lobster harmonica

A harmonica in the shape of a lobster, NOT a harmonica played by lobsters.

"I'm not leavin till I get that lobster harmonica! C'mere, lobsty." - Otto, on the Simpsons episode Pin Pals

by Astroturd July 31, 2010

Lobstering

When you jerk someone off with and oven mitt.

Susan likes lobstering Seth in between taking muffins out of the oven.

by Jamsiey December 31, 2019

Lobsang

A very nice person but is very hard to understand sometimes.

I love you Lobsang

by Zezebe May 16, 2020

lobster mornay

Is when your girlfriend is extremely sunburnt and you have no choice but to put out the fire with some mornay sauce. mornay sauce being chicken juice, aka sperm.

aloe vera was not present. so i had to use MY LOBSTER MORNAY SAUCE.

by dj_amez January 17, 2010