hacking the mainframe

The result of bypassing the direct orthogonal tridimensional matrix. Not to be attempted by anyone less than Army-grade hacker certified. You need to go through at least 17 firewalls before you reach the matrix.

Yo, Jeremy, did you hack the mainframe last night?

by gt-skip April 15, 2005

hacking the lettuce

euphemism for masturbation

studies show that hacking the lettuce 5 times a week reduces prostate cancer rates. That, and its fun too.

by McInnes May 15, 2005

hacking off

busting a nut, beating off, pounding off, jerking off, jacking off, beating your meat, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, rabbit in and out of the hole, driving over the bridge, firing off some white stuff, meatbag'in it, angering god, going blind, spraying the fire hose, milking the weasel, pleasuring yourself manually, touching yourself, taking a trip to England, forst'in the wheaties, abortion alternative, masturbation.

Dude, I was hacking off the other night and my mom walked in. So awk!!!

by coolcatgiantsfan August 14, 2010

Hacking Darts

Smoking a cigarette of any kind whilst inhaling the smoke and exhaling it.

Robert was hacking darts with his friend Brad

by bigslut69 November 3, 2010

Hacking the lights

Being unjustly accused of hacking the fluorescent lights while they flicker because you happened to texting on your Samsung Galaxy smartphone. The accuser is commonly a whorish paraprofessional with back pain caused by sleeping on the Target bench dividers at night.

My: *texting on my brand new Samsung Galaxy smartphone*

The overhead lights: *begin to rapidly flicker*

Whore para: WTF are ya doin, ya sped!! Stop hacking the lights!

by wpkoski September 11, 2021

Hacking Heaven

When the laity would donate cash; cryptocurrencies and NFTs; prized items like gold, diamond, coins, stamps, and paintings; and properties, so that the clergy could intercede for them before God to have their sins and those of their loved ones forgiven—generous or ostentatious donations on a regular basis would only set in motion a bountiful reward on high, be it material or/and spiritual blessings.

To upgrade the status of deceased family members from hell to purgatory, or from purgatory to heaven, the “political messiah” is encouraging his ultra-MAGA patriots to go to his “anointed” or “Vatican-approved” website to buy indulgences or “get-out-of-hell tickets” for them, and also for their own future sins—he’s hacking heaven by resurrecting or normalizing the banned spiritual practice of the Church.

by Fasters April 8, 2023

hacking loogies

When you have a bad nasal and/or chest cold, and cruddy clumps of mucous needs to be spit out or blown with a kleenix.

I was sick at home hacking loogies, I could not go out that night.

I know I had a bad cold when I was hacking loogies in many colors. Forcing fluids and chicken soup today.

by Dah_09 April 13, 2009