Coast Guard

A sea-based branch of the United States military that is jointly operated by the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security. During times of war, they assist the Navy. During times of peace, their general duties include: border patrol, immigration control, environmental protection, search and rescue, and stopping drug trafficking into the Untied States.

Ensign Jones was part of the U.S. Coast Guard.

by Nicolai April 10, 2004

coast guard

The smallest of the five branches of the U.S. military. They are under-funded and under-appreciated, but they are vital to national security. They conduct search & rescue, counterterrorism, customs & immigration enforcement, and environmental law compliance tasks.

The U.S. Coast Guard doesn't get the publicity or credit they deserve.

by J-rad March 15, 2007

rape guard

When you achieve a level of obesity such that your belly completely eclipses your genitalia. In other words when you stand in front of a mirror naked and your penis or vagina is completely hidden from view by your gut. Also known as advanced Dunlap syndrome(your belly dun lapped way over your belt).

Joe: Beware a wild snorlax appears...
John: Oh noes! and she has a level three rape guard!
Joe: Just the logistics of reaching her gens are mind boggling.

by turdnificent December 27, 2012

guarding the bee

The act of performing an utterly meaningless task given to you solely to keep you out of the way. The name comes from an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer, and two others, are tasked with guarding a bee in a jar in the plant's basement while the Nuclear Regulatory Inspector is visiting.

Bernie: Duh, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.

by Astrolounge April 7, 2009

strum guard

a strip of towel wrapped around the wrist of one's "strum"-minging hand, secured by gaffer tape, and is used to "guard" against abrasions when playing guitar. invented by joe strummer (born: john graham mellor) due to his furious playing style.

joe strummer never plays his telecaster without his strum guard.

by normers January 12, 2006

Giant Guard

A spray that is sold at a company for beds that is for warranties and nothing else. If you pee or bleed or jizz on the bed they will replace it.

Little Timmy peed his bed but its ok because we got Giant Guard so we will be getting a new bed!

by GiantPoopoo April 13, 2010

Splash Guard

To put a sheet of toilet paper in the toilet before a power poop to eliminate sound and splashback

I just ate at white castle and the next day at work i used the bathroom and it was packed, so to protect my dignity i put down a splash guard.

by 12MATZIE December 5, 2009