Pride/Shame Dilemma

A situation where you feel deeply proud of an action only to realise that the act, however magnificent or unique, cannot be shared with others without revealing something private and shameful.

He emerged from the public restroom feeling liberated and youthful. His mind often returned to the girthy behemoth that he'd left behind. He reflected with pride at how much of his product was above the waterline. His reverie was cut short by the realisation that despite his Herculean effort, this was far too shameful to share with his friends.

"What are you thinking about?"

He smiles, gazing fondly into the distance before dropping his head, feeling the full weight of his pride/shame dilemma, and quietly muttered,

"Nothing"

by MacGyver's Apprentice May 17, 2017

bishop's dilemma

bish-uhp's di-lem-uh

n. a type of piercing of the penis that penetrates the Urethra, rusulting in multiple streams

Check out that guy's bishop's dilemma! Oh shit! He got himself in the eye.

by Chris H. & Pip R. March 20, 2007

roy's dilemma

An unexpected penis in the anus.

Everything was going great at the orgy until I was faced with Roy's Dilemma.

by The Reverend Roysus September 30, 2013

Open Door Dilemma

When someone you know is taking a dump in a public or private restroom, and while he is in mid-poo you open the door. Because of this, the person shitting is faced with the difficult decision of either hurrying up and pinching it off and then coming to kick your ass, or coming after you right then and there and risk poo falling out his ass and dropping on the bathroom floor.

The other night, Joey was taking a dump over my house and we gave him an open door dilemma. It was hilarious because he was mid-shit and came after us with his pants at his ankles and he just dropped the poopies all over the floor and stained it.

by SnizzPulverizer February 17, 2009

Jewish Dilemma

Free ham.

From the stereotype that a Jew can't resist a bargain, and the Levitical prohibition of eating pork.

Father Murphy offered Rabii Bender a ham sandwich. "Oj gevalt!" moaned the good Rabii, "such a Jewish dilemma!"

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 3, 2005

Diarrhea dilemma

The critical point in the diarrhea timeline where a person is faced with two choices.

1. Shit your pants in public

2. Rapidly head for non-socially acceptable (or sometimes non-hygienic) locations to do what you need to do and avoid choice # 1. above

Joe knew that he had 10 seconds to avoid choice #1. in the Diarrhea dilemma so ran into the nearest bushes not caring who heard or saw...

100 members of the public: "OMG what is that guy doing...."

by BigFanDan February 8, 2009

potheads dilemma

whenever you want to get high but your missing one of three key components: bud, bowl, fire. No matter what two you do have, missing one will leave you fucked.

-"Hey I got a new bong, lets get stoned!"
-"Hell yeah! I got a new lighter!"
-"I don't have any weed..."
-"Neither do I..."
-(together) "well fuck!!"

potheads dilemma

by texasfotwenty March 17, 2010