Constipation Masturbation

To masturbate wile constipated, or to masturbate on the toilet wile taking a great big ass poop :-)!

The guy was performing Constipation Masturbation to himself wile he was pooping :-P

by Andrew...aka...[CnW]Kill$hot September 30, 2007

Constipation Contraction

A contipation contraction is when your anus / gluteus maximus muscles contract strongly causing a sharp and very uncomfortable pain, usually the same pain experiencenced whilst experiencing constipation. The contractions aren't always indicating constipation but there's a good chance it may follow.

Ben: *lift ass off chair and screechs in pain*
Josh: what's wrong?
Ben: Just had a constipation contraction -- ouch.
Josh: haha. eat too much cheese?

by okaythen873 July 31, 2009

Constipation Stroke

When you try to shit but can’t so you make the effort worthwhile by giving yourself a good old fashioned wank and rubbing one out before flushing and hoping the turd will pass next attempt. If not, repeat.

I’m on my third constipation stroke today. If I don’t blow the other way soon I may have to resort to an enema.

Sometimes I think he eats a poor diet just for the ability to constipation stroke.

by Dick Onchin January 11, 2022

constipation comprehension

When you read a book in the bathroom while taking a caca

Bro : Why were you taking so long in the bathroom dude
Dude : Sorry bro I was practicing some constipation comprehension

by the booty up in 3D June 30, 2020

constipation camp

Where Shitler sent the Poos

"I learned about Shitler's Constipation Camp at school. They gassed the Poos with laxatives."

by WoodchuckBeaverMustelid September 13, 2020

Constipation Sneeze

The act of inducing a sneeze in order to speed up a bowel movement.

Jack: I have to take a dump babe.
Jill: Okay, just hurry. The movie starts in 2 minutes
*Jack returns after 1:30*
Jill: That was quick. Why is your nose so runny and your eyes so red?
Jack: I had to snort popcorn salt to induce a constipation sneeze.
Jill: Awh honey I'm so proud of you!
*Lives happily ever after*

by Loller4429 October 2, 2016

Constipation consternation

The grimace resembling the look someone has when they are taking a big poop that flashes across their face when they are in a difficult or overwhelming situation.

The coach had a look of constipation consternation when several recruits left his program suddenly. frustration, overwhelming feeling, anxiety, shocked, dismay, angry, grimace

by joecoolthefool November 28, 2015