The almost inevitable consequence of a Seattle speedball. It's the noxious combination of cottonmouth and coffee breath that's foul enough to wake the dead (which, coincidentally, is what people nearby might think you're trying to do).
My boyfriend tried to kiss me this morning after taking a Seattle speedball, but his coffinmouth made me feel like I was being tongue-punched by a stoned zombie; Crest, or holy water, are recommended solutions.
by Penguigeon October 15, 2014
Get the Coffinmouth mug.A holy object in the ConciseTWOW competition, worshipped by all. It is being handed off to the winner of the all-star season to be stored away in a safe location forever. If anything were to ever happen to the ConciseTWOW mug, everyone in the server would go into a state of mourning for 6 days where all activities would be required to be in relation to the mug and the competition would completely halt.
not a donut: You don't understand it's for the ConciseTWOW Mug. If we get 5 we are writing 5 incredibly tryhard responses.
by Werrywit March 3, 2023
Get the ConciseTWOW Mug mug.Related Words
A place for trolls who want to make everyone feel bad with bogus accomplishments.
Sample post:
AP's
Soph. year
World History 5
Chemistry 5
French Lang 5
Euro History 5 (self-study)
Junior Year
Eng. Lit 5
Biology 5
Span Lang 5
Eng. Lang 5
Music Theory 5 (self-study)
US History 5
Calculus AB 5
Computer Science 5 (self-study)
Senior Year
Physics B
Physics C E&M and Mechanics (self-study)
Env. Sci (self-study)
Calculus BC
Statistics (self-study)
US Gov.
Comp Gov
Latin Virgil (self-study)
Japanese
Psychology
Human Geography (self-study)
I only took 5 AP classes senior year, earned a 34 on the ACT, 2290 on the SAT, earned a million awards, have 3,219 community service hours, gave a speech in front of 100,000 people, earned a plaque from my counselor for writing the best application essay he's ever seen, got 780 or better on each of the 16 subject tests I've taken. I have a 4.99 GPA, and I am #2 in my class of 933 (it's a big school and it's competitive) and I'm an internet troll. I have no chance into any college at all! Will colleges care if I didn't take that many AP classes? and that I have bad scores? Tell me! I don't want to be a loser. I have no chance at all!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1111OMG1!!!ROFLZ!!!!1!!!!!!
Proper reply: If you think a 34 on the ACT give you no chance into any school, you might be as smart as Christian Weston Chandler. Even the perfect student doesn't take that many AP tests, let alone earns all fives.
Sample post:
AP's
Soph. year
World History 5
Chemistry 5
French Lang 5
Euro History 5 (self-study)
Junior Year
Eng. Lit 5
Biology 5
Span Lang 5
Eng. Lang 5
Music Theory 5 (self-study)
US History 5
Calculus AB 5
Computer Science 5 (self-study)
Senior Year
Physics B
Physics C E&M and Mechanics (self-study)
Env. Sci (self-study)
Calculus BC
Statistics (self-study)
US Gov.
Comp Gov
Latin Virgil (self-study)
Japanese
Psychology
Human Geography (self-study)
I only took 5 AP classes senior year, earned a 34 on the ACT, 2290 on the SAT, earned a million awards, have 3,219 community service hours, gave a speech in front of 100,000 people, earned a plaque from my counselor for writing the best application essay he's ever seen, got 780 or better on each of the 16 subject tests I've taken. I have a 4.99 GPA, and I am #2 in my class of 933 (it's a big school and it's competitive) and I'm an internet troll. I have no chance into any college at all! Will colleges care if I didn't take that many AP classes? and that I have bad scores? Tell me! I don't want to be a loser. I have no chance at all!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1111OMG1!!!ROFLZ!!!!1!!!!!!
Proper reply: If you think a 34 on the ACT give you no chance into any school, you might be as smart as Christian Weston Chandler. Even the perfect student doesn't take that many AP tests, let alone earns all fives.
Post 2 on College Confidential
Here's what I will do senior year:
Maintain my 5.00 GPA
Speak at my graduation
Apply to all the Ivy League schools, Stanford (match), MIT (match), Caltech, Northwestern (safety), and Oxford
Get accepted into all of them
Earn $245,000 in scholarships
Become editor-in-chief in every publication at my school
Go to Tuscany for spring break with my gf since preschool
Break 17 or more school athletics records
Become national track and field champion again
Play at Carnegie Hall
Become state tennis champion for the fifth year in a row
Take 7 AP courses in school and self-study five
Get 5's in all of those AP exams
Become the National AP Scholar
Get some plaque for some award that I don't think exists
Write the advice book "If you aren't in the top 2% in your class, have a 2100 on the SAT, and earn several 5's on your AP exams, you will die alone and live a miserable life on the street"
Own an iPad and make $2,000,000 off making apps
Proper reply: How is all this possible?
Here's what I will do senior year:
Maintain my 5.00 GPA
Speak at my graduation
Apply to all the Ivy League schools, Stanford (match), MIT (match), Caltech, Northwestern (safety), and Oxford
Get accepted into all of them
Earn $245,000 in scholarships
Become editor-in-chief in every publication at my school
Go to Tuscany for spring break with my gf since preschool
Break 17 or more school athletics records
Become national track and field champion again
Play at Carnegie Hall
Become state tennis champion for the fifth year in a row
Take 7 AP courses in school and self-study five
Get 5's in all of those AP exams
Become the National AP Scholar
Get some plaque for some award that I don't think exists
Write the advice book "If you aren't in the top 2% in your class, have a 2100 on the SAT, and earn several 5's on your AP exams, you will die alone and live a miserable life on the street"
Own an iPad and make $2,000,000 off making apps
Proper reply: How is all this possible?
by DoubleDare July 9, 2010
Get the College Confidential mug.“Hey I heard Bridget’s signing up to be an SRC! Are you signing up?”
“Oh shit, no one’s gonna want a fucking emo girl with no self-confidence to sign up”
“Oh shit, no one’s gonna want a fucking emo girl with no self-confidence to sign up”
by ImAHappyLilHoe April 8, 2019
Get the Self-confidence mug.The opposite of Occam's Razor, it applies to situations where the most convoluted, elaborate explanation is the most likely to be true.
It's named in honor of Peter Coffin, who got famous for creating an incredibly complex labyrinth of lies in order to pretend he had lost his virginity. When some inconsistencies in his story became apparent, some people suggested bizarre explanations as a joke, but later the most ludicrous ones turned out to be true.
It's named in honor of Peter Coffin, who got famous for creating an incredibly complex labyrinth of lies in order to pretend he had lost his virginity. When some inconsistencies in his story became apparent, some people suggested bizarre explanations as a joke, but later the most ludicrous ones turned out to be true.
"Okay, so either Peter finally got a girlfriend, or he has dedicated the last few years of his life to the elaboration of a complex network of deception that involves a real size sex doll, thousands of dollars worth of girl's clothes, including custom made cosplay, dozens of sockpuppet accounts interacting with each other, several blogs and twitter accounts that he writes himself regularly, photo manipulation, stop motion animation, hiring a Scottish woman to record voice samples, dressing in drag, finding girls that looked like the doll and secretly taking pictures of them, stealing a baby, acquiring hospital equipment to use as props, and forging official documents, and he did all this despite he was caught years ago doing something similar and got publicly humiliated for it. Now seriously, what do you think is more likely?"
"By application of Peter's Coffin, the second hypothesis is the most likely."
A few days later...
"Oh my god! I can't believe it was all true! Peter's Coffin was right again!"
"By application of Peter's Coffin, the second hypothesis is the most likely."
A few days later...
"Oh my god! I can't believe it was all true! Peter's Coffin was right again!"
by MastermindX January 29, 2015
Get the Peter's Coffin mug.The curb lane of a multi-lane road. So named because drivers crossing the road, are not apt to see vehicles driving down this lane. These drivers are often suckered into making the crossing by innocent drivers in other lanes, who politely wave them through. Everyone is oblivious to the cars sailing down the far right hand lane, who have the right of way.
Of course the insurance company denied his claim. He was making a left turn across three lanes of traffic and could not see the cars whizzing down the curb or coffin lane. The moral is never trust other drivers, when they wave you through. Notice how they were smiling when they waved you through?
The chances are that a turn-pussy knows this from experience, not from driver's ed.
The chances are that a turn-pussy knows this from experience, not from driver's ed.
by miker2001 December 27, 2009
Get the Coffin Lane mug.A pesky prick roommate who always uses up all YOUR condiments. Be careful for these people as they are known for being very slick and sly. They'll use a little here and a little there until it is all gone. Then to top it off they won't tell you they used it so that when you have your meal all ready save for a couple condiments you approach the fridge to find the containers in the fridge all but empty.
Doug: Sucks living with my roommate Tim I can't ever fully enjoy my meal.
Mikey: He one of those condiment thiefs?
Doug: Yeah...
Mikey: What a fuckin' prick
Mikey: He one of those condiment thiefs?
Doug: Yeah...
Mikey: What a fuckin' prick
by Mike Schrampfey November 28, 2012
Get the condiment thief mug.