calamity james

englands number one goalkeeper

"ol' keegan's gonna enjoy 'im"
"who?"
"calamity james, oo ja fink!"
"england, england's number one, england's, number one"
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

by theWestHamfan January 14, 2004

Great Calamity Kittens!

An exclamation, similar to great scott!, making its first appearance in the Wonder Woman comic Sensation Comics #7 (July 1942). Later popularized by cracked.com in its article "The 6 Most Pointless Supervillain Schemes".

'A dead woman.' That must mean the Baroness! But Paula was electrocuted- great calamity kittens! I'm going mad!

by uliglaze April 28, 2011

Jim Bob Nut Calamity

The act of ejaculating onto the face of a women, then right after she precedes to gather the semen into a hollow strap-on dildo. She then takes the strap-on and inserts it into her partners anus and re-ejaculates his own semen back into him, followed byfeltching it out of him.

David gave Cindy a great Jim Bob Nut Calamity last night, and let me tell you, his ass was sore the next day.

by Mista Lee and Mista Brandon April 29, 2008

calam

Shortened from calamity

"Ayy you are calaaam"
"That's calam"

by Bellend-ing December 18, 2021

Calam

A big juice daddy who goes through birds like the fucking bullet train and has a cock like a hammer head shark!

Calam, Real sweet real naughty that’s wassup

by Alpha as fuck November 22, 2021

Scrotal Calamity

When one knicks ones nether regions as a gentleman. And there is a rampant leakage of haemoglobin via ones testes akin to the bouncing Betty’s destruction of German dams in WW2. I.e. when a self proclaimed idiot tries to pop a blood blister but opens up a capillary.

Christ alive! I’ve just sliced my ball sack. Absolute scrotal calamity.

by Slutty-butt-canoe October 13, 2023

Calamity In Your Dancing Pants

To have one's mind blown. Question everything you know to be true.

"After hearing that Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire, you had a calamity in your dancing pants."

by Sparky1992 May 9, 2025