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beef jerky in a dress

a woman of a certain age who, while once attractive for her tanned complexion and lean figure, is now creepily thin and leathery
pool boy 1: hey, did you just finish servicing that beef jerky in a dress in cabana 7?

pool boy 2: yeah, that old beth tips well, but i'm gonna have that old-football taste in my mouth for hours
by i am not wearing pants July 15, 2009
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Beef jerky in the morning

Absurdly early in the morning. See also zero dark thirty, asscrack or buttcrack of dawn, dark o'clock or stupid o'clock
"I need a power nap. I'm not used to being up at beef jerky in the morning."
"Bro, this better be important – it's beef jerky in the morning here."
by freezerbee August 1, 2019
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Beef jerky backhander

A move typically used by men’s running clubs, the beef jerky backhander is best deployed when 3 or more runners are occupying the same shower together after they’ve hit the pavement & busted out a ‘PB’. The move allows the user to pleasure the man behind him in the shower by placing his hand backwards and jerking the beef of his running companion. Purists often wait until later into the shower so that the skin of the erect penis shrivels in the heat and resembles actual beef jerky.
“Man, I showered with the dragons at lunch and One of them gave me a beef jerky backhander without lube. Apparently he wanted that beef aged.”
by Dragon Voyeur January 1, 2018
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beef jerky dog

by Caorlisn December 26, 2020
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A beef jerky

A beef jerky.

A beef jerky is the act of giving or receiving a handjob. Usual one would use saliva or some sort of lube for a handjob; a beef jerky requires uncooked ground beef.

Why do you ask? Say your camping, forgot to bring lube and both you and your partner have the pasties. Look no further then a pack or room temperature ground beef.

You can also use other ground meats.

If your partner vigorously jerks fast enough this will create enough heat to have a meal after sex.
Hey grab a handful of that ground beef and give me a beef jerky.
by Chokiecat February 5, 2018
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skin your beef jerky

1. shut up

This rather graphic phrase literally tells men to go a "skin their penis" but in essence, it is a way of telling someone to shut up by moving on to do something else. This particular phrase is great to use against misogynistic remarks from men, as a man would fear having to perform surgery on his own genitals.
guy: Buy high sell low.

girl: I know how the stock- market works. Why don't you skin your beef jerky? I'm tired of your mansplaining.
by Boo Sadley February 23, 2021
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Ranch with a side of beef jerky

When a girl is starving for cum and dick and eats both
Damn I really want ranch with a side of beef jerky
by Tom 123422 May 7, 2020
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