assmonger

One who sells donkeys on the street.

A lowly assmonger cannot make enough money to support a family.

by BlastMaster May 16, 2003

ass monkey

An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.

Sketchball A: We need to go out the side door. If we don't your ass monkey will come with us to dinner.

Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.

Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.

by I-Heart-Shiksas January 8, 2008

talking ass monkey

(n). One who drones on and on about his/her problems; a non-listener, talks loudly and fast, often very opinionated.

At the cocktail party, the talking ass monkey told me everything I never wanted to know. "What are you, some kind of arrogant talking ass monkey?"

by Dave Hultgren February 23, 2004

Ass Monkey

A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.

Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.

by Petros March 10, 2004

assmonk

this is a friendly way to refer to our mate tom

hello assmonk, how are you today?

by dave April 9, 2003

Sassmonkey

Epic sassmaster, someone who is a sass guru. And likes monkeys apparently. Also may have occasional monkey-esque qualities and outbursts.

Ellen Rogers is such a sassmonkey.

by AsianDunnSensation February 17, 2010

assmonger

Synonymous to an ass-hole.

A generally rude, unpleasant person.

My coworkers are all assmongers.

by snabald July 13, 2003