Some guy who everyone thinks was cool who was apparently the messiah and could do voodoo. We all know Ras' Tafari is the messiah! jesus christ you idiots!!!
by Jon is beasto August 12, 2009
some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 06, 2011
1.me; your heavenly savior.
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
2.pronounced HAY-SOOS in the sanish language
3.jewish people do not believe i am their savior. however i was jewish
by Nicole, your savior July 23, 2008
Jesus,is a total fake.He'd be cool if he was real,but his dad can go suck a cock for all I fucking care.
by fairytale!!!!!!!!!!! September 16, 2008
A man that lived 2000 years ago who was either one of three things
1) The messiah, Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God who made the earth and performs miracles.
2) A crazy guy that claimed he was the messiah.
3) A man who pulled off the biggest hoax in worlds history, for he has influenced so many people of the world to believe in him and to live a good life.
1) The messiah, Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God who made the earth and performs miracles.
2) A crazy guy that claimed he was the messiah.
3) A man who pulled off the biggest hoax in worlds history, for he has influenced so many people of the world to believe in him and to live a good life.
Dude: "Dude Jesus is a beast at being God".
Other Dude: Na i think he was actually just a crazy raging alcholic.
Other Dude: Na i think he was actually just a crazy raging alcholic.
by Soon to be a pastor October 30, 2009
to be the ultimate master at an activity you are participating in, or to be the ultimate victor in any type of game or skill competition
holy shit, you whooped my ass your freaking Jesus
man your the greatest graffiti artist ever let your name be known, Jesus
man your the greatest graffiti artist ever let your name be known, Jesus
by JesusintheurbanCanada March 14, 2009
The Chris Angel of his day. He was such a celebrity he had 12 of his bitches write down whatever he did. The National Roman Socialists Party was jelious that he was stealing their popularity so they had him jumped by a bunch of lower-class jews who deny their own faith and hanged on a lowercase T, for Trumph. Jesus' fans got pissed and went on a hungerstrike. Meanwhile Jesus was being a pimp with them islams in caves aranging a blow job and got as high as possible and they all passed out. Jesus woke up 3 days later. He invented the infamous Barry Bonds who helped over throw Rome, later joining Castro. Bonds denied that he participated in a rebellion and genocide in court. Jesus refused interviews and smited those persistent fellers. Jesus is now spending time on the psHome. Bonds is rotting in jail.
by TheGuyWithTheUmbrella August 07, 2010