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John

a fucking memelord. hes like, the best person in the world. even tho hes a stick hes still funny and he really likes chicken nuggets lmao.
by turntechGnostic September 15, 2017
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john clarke

by xfinxmarkx00 January 28, 2017
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The Immaculate Penis of John

What's that?
That's John's Immaculate Penis.
Oh.
Also known as The Immaculate Penis of John.
by El Zodiac April 26, 2024
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John Mayer

IfyouwouldveblinkedthenIwouldveLookedawayatthefirstglanceIfyoutastedpoisonyoucouldveSpitmeoutatthefirstchanceIfIwassomepaintdiditsplattrOnapromisinggrownmanAndifIwasachilddiditmatterIfyougottowashyourhandsohAllIusetodowasprayWouldvecouldveshouldveIfyoudneverlookdmywayIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevilAtnineteenAndtheGodshonesttruthisthatthepainwasheavenAndnowthatImgrownImscaredofghostsMemoriesfeellikeweaponsAndnowthatiknowIwishyoudleftmewonderingIfyounevertouchedmeiwouldveGonealongwiththerighteousifIneverblushedthentheycouldveNeverwhisperedaboutthisAndifyouneversavedmefromboredomicouldveoneonasIwasButLordyoumademefeelimprantAndthenyoutriedtoeraseusohYoureacrisisofmyfaithWouldvecouldveshouldveIfIdonlyplayeditsafeIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevil…GodrestmysoulimisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeIfclaritysindeaththenwhywontthisdieYearsoftearingdownourbannersyouandLivingforthethrillofhittingyouwhereithurtsGivemebackmygirlhooditwasminefirst..IcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeOhGodrestmysoulImisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetime
john mayer: dickhead who can’t date woman his age
by 19stooyoungtobemessedwith June 25, 2023
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Johned

When a “friend” ignores your messages either on purpose or just ignorance.
Brad got johned by john
by Dangetjohn June 6, 2022
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John

John is a guy who works really hard in what he’s good at like sports and he tried hard in school. He cares a lot for people and if ur important to him in his life he will make time for you. He’s a goofy blonde headed guy who is east to fall for, he may have some secrets of his and feel down sometimes but really all he needs is to open up to someone even if it’s hard sometimes. He has kinda of strict parents and it can get in the way of him having fun sometimes. He gets all the girls because he’s so flirty and leaves girls wondering “I wonder when he’s gonna text back next.” He will shoot his shot but he expects the same energy back. He is super considerate and is interested in what u say and is really ideal boyfriend material. He’s ur typical teenage boy but on the inside it’s something u don’t wanna miss. HE ALSO HAS SOME NICE ABS GEEZ.
Me: “im no simp, but John just changes that.”
by Gabbyhaha January 11, 2021
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John

John is the most perfect guy you’ll ever meet. He’s smart, good-looking, and most of all the sweetest.
Pls marry me john!!
by Beebor 1 June 30, 2022
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