turtletext

to reply at a text at a speed slower than slow.

yo, rach, quit turtletexting me.

by Fuck_cops92 December 31, 2009

turtle thump

unsatisfying coitus with an extremely small penis... so small, in fact, it is sucked up into the man's body like the head of a turtle, nearly making intercourse completely impossible altogether.

Brian: "It's just sad when you please a women and they go crazy. She was begging for another donkey punch."

Kelly: "...more like a turtle thump"

by havwingswillfy April 8, 2010

turtle sickness

Turtle sickness is a result of sleeping too much or not getting out of bed until 2:00 or 3:00 pm. It is the feeling of still being tired even if you've slept for 10 or 12 hours. Your behavior and brain functions are noticably slowed down and reactionary time is also deminished.

She just woke up and she still looks tired - she must have turtle sickness.

by Defon 4 and waiting June 10, 2010

turtle grip

To grip something as if it were like a turtle biting it with its sharp beak!

I could not get the pillow from Regan, she had a turtle grip on it!

by pimpin turtle grip January 10, 2011

Turtle Bitching

To take forever to get ready to leave, usually for a party, when everyone else is waiting.

Liz, quit turtle bitching! Get your ass out the door NOW!

by Ginger Kitten April 12, 2011

Turtle Stamping

The act of pressing one's anus against an object, or person, for example a wall, and producing a small head of poop to peak out and touch the wall, leaving a small print of stool behind.

I caught Billy turtle stamping the refrigerator this morning.

by BillyTheTurtle July 5, 2011

Turtle Lipping

When someone performs a blowjob with their top and bottom lips turned inward, resembling a turtles beak. It is unknown where this originated, but it does not feel good, and anyone who tells you it does is lying to spare your feelings. Cut it out.

Friend 1: "Dude, that girl I left with last night gave a terrible blowjob. She was turtle lipping the entire time."
Friend 2: "Damn...sorry to hear that."

by xMATTIE CAKESx October 18, 2011