God

Executive producer of the live-feed reality show known as “The Universe.” “The Universe” consists mostly of empty space with an occasional star, wherein nuclear fusion produces heavier elements that can bond to each other and form planets. Once planets are pieced together from these elements, the elements can form amino acids capable of developing into microbial life that, over billions of years, evolve into sentient creatures. For God, the amusement of viewing “The Universe” is the point at which each planet evolves semi-intelligent entities capable of questioning the meaning of their existence. These entities, due to their desire to resolve these questions in a limited amount of time with a limited amount of information, are forced to answer these questions in haste. Such haste gives birth to a wide array of ill-conceived religions, each claiming a monopoly on the ultimate truth, which inevitably leads to conflicts with members of other religious ideologies that developed in a different spatiotemporal locale. These conflicts arise at different times throughout the cosmos due to widely varying onsets of planet formation and evolutionary development, allowing God to view a continuous stream of addictive programming once the first form of semi-intelligent life has developed. Upon the expiration of each participant’s biological contract, God transfers the participant’s soul to an ethereal location and greets them with several megatons of high-grade cosmic marijuana. Once stoned, participants are joined with both friends and enemies and invited to view the ultimate blooper reel from “The Universe.” This compilation will feature the most absurd conflicts that have arisen on planets throughout the cosmos, showcasing the utter insanity of social, political, and religious institutions.

God.

by [he who cannot be named] January 10, 2009

God

you can't pack God's love and majesty into one definition, no matter how long it is. But you can say that He is the one who's always there for us, forgiving and loving us no matter what.

See also: love amazing

i love God!!

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life -John 3.16

by azriel aegean July 4, 2006

god

The Creator of all.He seems far away from us,but next time you feel lonely,thinking about this s*** of life,be sure He will be there,touched deeply by your sorrow,waiting for the right moment to wipe your tears.

Thanks God, I'm still alive.

by iron john June 11, 2006

god

My good friend GOD ROCKS!!!!

I dont need to give an example for these low lifes making fun of god over the internet.

by GOD ROCKS!!!!!!!! September 22, 2004

god

n. Used to explain the unexplained so that the mind can fill blanks with something.

God made the planets.

by BreakfastPirate December 20, 2003

God

The entity that is the creator of existence itself. Were there no God, there would be nothing, an empty void full of nothing but sadness and despair. God is the reason you are able to have fun with your friends, feel love for another, have your first kiss, get your first 100 on a test, listen to your favorite music, debate and discuss, touch, taste, feel, hear, smell, think, act, have ideas, the reason you can live.

I believe in God. Do you?

by macaroninjesus July 7, 2010

God

The Creator, God Almighty, Lord of Hosts.

He is I am, the Beginning and the End, Alpha and Omega, Father in Heaven, Father of Love.

There is no Love without God, nor is there God without love, He Sent his son to save us.

A promise of eternal life is bestowed upon those who believe in Jesus as Lord and He who died for them.

Father God, whom i love, your name is holy, give us our daily bread, and keep us, forgive us of the ones we hurt as we forgive them and them to us, don't let us wander into evil or temptation, and if we fall, we know you will bring us back stronger Amen.

by Ages August 5, 2008