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The Base System

An old-school system of telling people how far you've gone. While there are different versions this is how it
goes:

1st base- French kissing
2nd base- Feeling up, boob touching
2nd and a half base- Fingering, hand job
3rd base- Any form of oral
4th- Sex. All the way.

Can be summed up as french, feel, suck, fuck
According to the Base System, he figured that he had never hit more than 5 singles in his life.

Amy: "How far did you and Bob get last night?"
Lauren: "We only got to second. He just won't let me in his pants!"
by betterlivingthroughsarcasm October 23, 2009
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squornshellous system

Squornshellous System

Squornshellous System is a four-star system 27 light-years from earth.

Squornshellous Alpha The first planet in from the four-star system Squornshellous, it is very cold and inhabited by giant, burrowing mattresses that spit acid.

Squornshellous Beta Two planets in from Squornshellous Zeta, it is inhabited by square cushions whom enjoy being rubbed up against, especially with people's shoulders. Unlike Squornshellous Zeta, it has desert terrain rather than swamps.

Squornshellous Delta The second planet in between Squornshellous Zeta and Beta, it is inhabited by flying pillows--there is no solid ground but only infinite clouds.

Squornshellous Gamma Squornshellous Gamma is a quite, hot, bumpy little planet, with a thick, dense atmosphere. Probably the worst place to crash, because communication to other planets is impossible, due to the thick atmosphere, and the rain is solid. The 12' by 9' cushions have only a five-second memory--they'll ask you who you are first, then who they are next, and, needless to say, most people die of annoyance within an hour.

Squornshellous Zeta Dimly illuminated and very very swamp-intensive, Squornshellous Zeta is the source of almost all the Galaxy's mattresses. Said mattresses (all of which are called Zem) spend most of their time flolloping, globbering, volluing, and vooning. Said activities make the planet a favourite destination of etymologists. The Zem themselves remain a foot tall, until they are freeze-dryed and cleaned, and made into mattress-size corpses (which are promptly used as mattresses). It is a process which, strangely enough, they don't seem to mind at all.

Marvin the Paranoid Android was invited to the planet to give a speech marking the opening of a giant new bridge intended to revive the economy of the Squornshellous System, said bridge also costing the total sum of the economy of the entire planet to create and the whole ceremony ended in tears. Marvin was plugged into the bridge and the whole cyberstructure instantly folded itself up and collapsed (presumably after being directly exposed to Marvin's chronically depressed view of the Universe). Marvin was left stranded in the swamp with only the mattresses to talk to, until robots from Krikkit stole his leg, and then the rest of him.
Marvin got stuck in the squornshellous system, in squornshellous zeta.
by galakticpoogiebug June 17, 2008
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bumpin sound system

1. a system that turns the ordinary mundane party into the extra kickthefuckass armerica party
2. im not sure but it gets girls wet
hot girl one- "yo bitch lets head over to betas, they have a bumpin sound system"
hot girl two - "oh fuck yea im wet just thinkin about it"
by MREIGN October 8, 2009
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not in the system

when a group of associates are chatting about a fellow worker thats not hip to whats going on.
bill is so out of it, he's really not in the system
by freddytoledo July 11, 2010
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Accurate Freight System

A system for freight that is always accurate.
Do you need freight transported accurately? use accurate freight system
by 14752ewsdc October 29, 2018
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ASIAN GRADING SYSTEM

A = AVERAGE
B = BELT TIME
C = CANT COME HOME
D = DOG HOUSE
F = FIND A NEW FAMILY
MOM: YOU GET THE B. I AM GOING TO WHIP YOUR ASS. GET THE A+ OR CHOPSTICK UP ASS AND NO RICE FOR 3 DAYS!
ASIAN SON: I DO THE SO MUCH EXTRA CREDIT! I'M JUST NO SMART!
MOM: YOU A DISAPPOINTMENT. GO TO THE DOG HOUSE AND SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THE DINNER. YOU KNOW WHAT THE ASIAN GRADING SYSTEM IS!!!!!
by PERSONWITHALLOFTHEA+ January 27, 2020
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standard underscoah measurement system

The standard underscoah measurement system (no thats not a typo) is a specialized measurement system for certain communities. It is currently in use in The Kingdom of Bread. the system is a length based system, comprising of 4 different lengths,

The standard baguette = 16 in or 406.4 millimeters
The smoot = 5ft 7in or 1.7018 meters
The big boi = 1.7 mi or 2.7 km
The Italy = 706.25 miles or 1136.5992 kilometers
"what measurement system do you use?"

"I use the standard underscoah measurement system"
by Apple Byter February 20, 2020
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