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PMDS (Post Masturbation Depression Syndrome)

PMDS is a very serious illness that both men and woman can suffer throughout their lives. It is after the art of masturbation in which you will feel sad and depressed at yourself and your life. (This is a very serious illness and must be taken with extreme caution given the effects it can have on any given individual)
Jimmy: I just masturbated and I feel a deep sadness feeling inside of me.
Doctor: Well Jimmy it seems to me that you might have PMDS (Post Masturbation Depression Syndrome)
Jimmy: What does that mean doctor
Doctor: Whenever you pleasure yourself through the art of masturbation, you will become ill with depression after you ejaculate.
by Ian’s mom August 14, 2018
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masturbation

the act of pleasing thy self with sexual alone time by forcing massive ejaculation.
Mike performed masturbation on his bed conforter & it left a stain(the stain is still there,true story.)
by Mike_Coolman104 June 19, 2009
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Masturbation

The act of self stimulation by stroking, rubbing, or pulling your genitals. Men usually rub, sometimes women will buy dildos or finger themselves. Masturbation can result in ejaculation if the person is stimulated enough. Men/women usually perform this act when intercourse is not an option.
For people with small brains:Masturbation is touching your penis to make it feel good, or for women sticking their fingers in their vaginas.
Guy 1:Sheila is too tired to have sex, and I'm bored.
Guy 2:Why don't you try masturbation?
Guy 1:Isn't that for complete losers?
Guy 2:No dude, it's completely normal and healthy.
Guy 1:I might try it, then.
by Maximizer August 5, 2012
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masturbation fiend

The chronic masturbation fiend masturbates to a photo of that handsome guy 3 times a day. The fiend uses lotion and other slippery substances to get off on his picture.
by FDA unapproved April 14, 2010
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Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.
The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.
by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004
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Vacuum Masturbation

When you use a vacuum's hose attachment to clean the body of the vacuum.
I had lots of fun sucking up the spider webs with Vacuum Masturbation
by E.N. Smith October 1, 2008
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Twilight Masturbation

When a girl or woman proceedes to masturbate and sexualally reach an all time high (moan), due to the appearance and/or voice of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black.
When I was in the movie for New Moon, all I heard was Twilight Masturbation.
by Ûñkñøwîñg December 7, 2009
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