ivan

The basic russian. the biggest piece of dog meat to ever exist. Large consumer of vodka and heavily abused at home. Struggles in public due to lack of social skills and overall is an easy target to bully. You do not want to be around an Ivan because they tend to get an impulse need of dick in the ass. Is in heavy debt and can't seem to go a day without crying. Dont be an Ivan. Fruity.

Look, that guy is an ivan, run away

by urnotfunnygoat October 4, 2022

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ivan

michelle’s boyfriend.

don’t talk , look and/or interact with ivan because michelle will kill you.

by ivan’sgirlfriendd January 20, 2022

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Ivanism

The supreme religion, in which Ivan is the supreme deity.
Statistics show 'Ivanists' (followers of Ivanism) live on average 11 times longer, and are 60 times as happy!
Ivanists have a set of 'Tenets' by which every Ivanist must abide:
1. Ivan is the way
2. Have no gods before Ivan
3. Convert as many people as possible to Ivanism
4. Say the most diabolical, discombobulated things to Ivanists
5. You must believe the universe was created in the image of Ivan
6. Every Ivanist is beautiful in the eyes of Ivan.

Ivanism originated when Ivan had spoken to a particular Ivanov, and told the latter "You must spread my gospel and Ivangelise the world"

Ivanist: "Would you like to join the supreme religion of Ivanism?"
Potential Ivanist: "Yes of course, everyone should join Ivanism!"

by Ivanthepreacher May 27, 2022

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