Absolute convict

A way of mildly offending someone without crossing any homophobic, racist, or inappropriate boundaries, usually meant light heartedly, but sometimes with harsh intent.

Used with the intent of being racist actually, and as a matter of fact, a lot of the time is meant to make someone hate their life, so yeah, have fun you bunch of gay cunts.

Oh has you seen that fucking nigga, he’s an absolute convict, robbing bikes n shit.

by Ryisanonce February 3, 2019

absolute andrew

A kind of cocktail.

"Hey did you try Absolute Andrew?"
"Nah man, I prefer Absolute Ashley."

by Hola213 December 7, 2013

absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting

Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.

by YoyoMaFam July 26, 2022

the absolute SEXIEST man alive

dom is the sexiest man alive and he loves watching gay midget hardcore anal hentai

somebody walks into doms room...
dom is naked and he glittering somehow and in the back round you see hentai porn
Man"what are doing"
Dom"what do you think i'm doing"
Man"you are the absolute SEXIEST man alive"

by me kill YOU December 15, 2022

Absolution

Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds

Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.

by geoxd657 April 13, 2018

Absolute Perfection

Some bitch named Léa

You see that girl Léa? She’s absolute perfection <3

by milf_central September 12, 2022

absolute balls

Absolute Balls is a term used to describe hatred. Hate is a strong word, so use Absolute Balls instead! Your peers will get a great chuckle out of this one, chief.

"bro, the game you suggested me was absolute balls."

"What the fuck kyle. Just say you hate it."

"No, hate is a strong word."

by treesoda August 24, 2022