A term used in order to tell someone to fuck off or to say suck my dick, usually in a situation where the person you say it to is making no sense or they're an idiot
OP:" Where are we?"
Victim: " Goodhue County one Goodhue County nine"
OP: "Suck taint! That's not helpful"
Victim: " Goodhue County one Goodhue County nine"
OP: "Suck taint! That's not helpful"
by QuebxcOnVocab July 23, 2020

by FerneemeryRULES! October 15, 2013

When you drop a turd that’s so hard, so long and so girthy you feel like your taint is being slowly split in half as the behemoth passes.
From the moans coming from the stall next to mine, I’m pretty that guy was forcing out a taint splitter.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018

The moist, fat undercarriage of a saggy old woman that slaps against itself during any form of movement
by lookatthatfucktard January 23, 2015

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint
Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."
butt dial
pocket dial
butt dial
pocket dial
by luvitwenucallmebigpasta July 17, 2012

A relative of the dingleberry, the tainted berserker is a fierce fleck of fecal matter that has invaded upon the grundle region (tainted) as a result of a particularly violent, berserker-style bowel movement.
Strauss invoked the power of Odin upon the porcelain throne of Assgard, thus requiring copious amounts of toilet paper to ensure that no tainted berserkers were creeping up on his family jewels.
by Caible October 10, 2013

To reach a point of stress, anticipation, or engaging an act that is so extreme that you clench the cheeks of your buttocks together so tightly, that your taint is effectively welded together.
by TK42FUN May 4, 2015
