Taint Goalie

A person who defends their taint.

She wanted to get kinky, but he was playing taint goalie.

by avbaisley September 3, 2009

Bloated Taint

When you are extra puffy down there during Aunt Flows visit.

Sometimes its messy, butt Heather just wants Geof to pound her bloated taint.

by ShortSmartSassySweet July 4, 2023

Taint Henneley

When you pass out after a long night of drinking and your friends shave their pubes and glue them to your face. AKA "Sasquatch Dingleberry."

Last night my buddy got wasted and we gave him a "Taint Henneley."

by Ryan Tapley October 27, 2008

Taint jockey

A taint jockey is a person who is annoying you,a person that is a suck up, or just a person acting like a deusche bag.

He's always Brown nosing. He's such a taint jockey

by Hydsuperstars January 5, 2018

Jumped the taint

To be unexpectedly surprised, even horrified; to transition quickly from pleasure to disgust.

Jody jumped the taint when she discovered her boyfriend was really her cousin.

by Tbeauie March 2, 2012

taint welding

To reach a point of stress, anticipation, or engaging an act that is so extreme that you clench the cheeks of your buttocks together so tightly, that your taint is effectively welded together.

John was driving so recklessly that Steve was taint welding in the passenger's seat

by TK42FUN May 4, 2015

Taint Splitter

When you drop a turd that’s so hard, so long and so girthy you feel like your taint is being slowly split in half as the behemoth passes.

From the moans coming from the stall next to mine, I’m pretty that guy was forcing out a taint splitter.

Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?

I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.

by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018