ALAN IS SO HOT HE IS A CURLY HEAD MAN ALL THE GIRLS WANT HIM HE HAS A HUGE PENIS THAT LOADS OF CUM GET OFF OF HIM PLS DATE HIM
ALAN THE MAN
by alaniscute May 19, 2022

Honestly I have no ideas why people are so critical of Alan he’s like my best friend and is funny ,nice,and way smart!
by JDR January 31, 2021

by am4life14 December 24, 2007

coolest nigga on the block. This mutafuka is 6'9 feet tall and can fuck yo girl in 7 seconds.
he's also called lil bill as he is a fuckin rapper. He can rape eminem in 8 seconds.
he's also friends with Johnny sins and does shot up a whole block in a second.
he's also called lil bill as he is a fuckin rapper. He can rape eminem in 8 seconds.
he's also friends with Johnny sins and does shot up a whole block in a second.
by BJ no life November 23, 2021

Alan would be an amazing Grandad to anyone. He is kind at caring and loves cars. I knows when somthing is rong and tries to make it right
by 15476 March 10, 2022

Alan (noun):
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
1. The rare breed of husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter, random butterflies in your stomach, epic dad moments, unexpected dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
• “Stop being dramatic and get yourself an Alan — mine just carried all the shopping, fixed the WiFi, and still had time to laugh at my worst joke.”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
by Bionic Scout September 11, 2025
