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absolute lass

A all around good jolly lassie. She's got your back and is sassy as all hell. The abosulte package.
That Peyten is an absolute lass! I love being around her.
by Theabsoluteunit July 2, 2018
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Absolute Mucus

The weird temperature at which your mucus freezes in your nose and feels weird.
Yeah dude it was so cold this morning that I think it would hit about absolute mucus. It was very uncomfortable.

Student: What is the exact temperature of Absolute mucus
Teacher: It varies depending on many factors including but not limited to, the amount of mucus in nose, size of nose, and amount of hair in nose.
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Absolute ballshit

An act of unfairness and unpredictability
That’s absolute ballshit! FGR should have won again. Instead FGR decided to hit the woodwork, miss 1 on 1’s and lose
by BURYAREBASTARDS January 20, 2019
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Absolute convict

A way of mildly offending someone without crossing any homophobic, racist, or inappropriate boundaries, usually meant light heartedly, but sometimes with harsh intent.

Used with the intent of being racist actually, and as a matter of fact, a lot of the time is meant to make someone hate their life, so yeah, have fun you bunch of gay cunts.
Oh has you seen that fucking nigga, he’s an absolute convict, robbing bikes n shit.
by Ryisanonce February 3, 2019
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absolute naughton

An absolute legend who gets so much pussy and is very funny
"yo, that G is an absolute naughton"
by Naughtopus June 11, 2018
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ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.
That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.
by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022
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absolute balls

Absolute Balls is a term used to describe hatred. Hate is a strong word, so use Absolute Balls instead! Your peers will get a great chuckle out of this one, chief.
"bro, the game you suggested me was absolute balls."

"What the fuck kyle. Just say you hate it."

"No, hate is a strong word."
by treesoda August 24, 2022
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