Dave: I heard Charlotte past away..
Shaun: yeah man it's really sad going to give her one last Ouija-wank for the road.
Shaun: yeah man it's really sad going to give her one last Ouija-wank for the road.
by Little_doomer_ July 10, 2022
Get the Ouija-Wankmug. Cait: I haven't masturbated in 3 weeks, and now I'm on my period!
Nick: Dude, why don't you just have a red wank?
Nick: Dude, why don't you just have a red wank?
by pp0u20e8 April 21, 2010
Get the Red Wankmug. When a gorgeously fit woman with lusciously strong thighs straddles a man lying down on the floor and touching him with nothing but her hot, wet pussy, wanks his cock until he cums.
by Ybot66 January 24, 2008
Get the pussy wankmug. by Kyriacos May 28, 2008
Get the wank barriermug. A superior way of objectifying women.
Instead of the inaccurate number system, whereby a women is given a number based on their level of attractiveness between 1-10, she may be better objectified according to her performance, perceived or otherwise, in the sack.
Using the act of masturbation as a unit of measurement, a women may be ranked like so, in no particular order:
A Wank And A Half
A Wank And A Bit
A Wank And Three Quarters, if she’s really good.
And…
Worse Than A Wank
Based on a universal, non-esoteric unit of measure, the Wank Rank is the preferred Lay-person’s description of women.
Instead of the inaccurate number system, whereby a women is given a number based on their level of attractiveness between 1-10, she may be better objectified according to her performance, perceived or otherwise, in the sack.
Using the act of masturbation as a unit of measurement, a women may be ranked like so, in no particular order:
A Wank And A Half
A Wank And A Bit
A Wank And Three Quarters, if she’s really good.
And…
Worse Than A Wank
Based on a universal, non-esoteric unit of measure, the Wank Rank is the preferred Lay-person’s description of women.
Guy 1: Check her out, what do you think she is?
Guy 2: A 6, getting on to 7.
Guy 1: No, I mean what do you think she’s like, in bed?
Guy 2: Oh, you mean her Wank Rank?
Guy 1: Course.
Guy 2: A Wank And A Half?
Next day.
Guy 1: So, how was she?
Guy 2: In Layman’s terms, a Wank And A Quarter.
Guy 1: Ooh, I’m sorry.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was disappointing. I’ve got to stop overestimating chicks. Hey, I never heard what you thought.
Guy 1: What, you mean what Wank Rank I gave her in my head?
Guy 2: Yeah. You’ve always been better at placing women than me.
Guy 1: It comes with practice.
Guy 2: So what did you think?
Guy 1: Well, it’s kind of pointless now, seeing as how you’ve already had sex with her.
Guy 2: Well, I still want to know.
Guy 1: It doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: Come on.
Guy 1: You really want to know?
Guy 2: Yeah, of course.
Guy 1: Well… I kinda knew she’d be Worse Than A Wank.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night, and you were seriously hung-over this morning, but yeah, she looked awful.
Guy 2: Worse Than A Wank? No way, she couldn’t have been that bad.
Guy 1: No seriously, she was like an inch of makeup, cancerously tanned and looks like she may have a venereal disease.
Guy 2: WHAT? And you let me take her home?
Guy 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Guy 2: I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AIDS!
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s almost enough to make you stick to wanking, or go gay.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I said it’s enough to make you want to abandon women altogether.
Guy 2: Are you trying to tell me something?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Pause.
Guy 1: I’m gay.
Guy 2: I gathered.
Guy 2: A 6, getting on to 7.
Guy 1: No, I mean what do you think she’s like, in bed?
Guy 2: Oh, you mean her Wank Rank?
Guy 1: Course.
Guy 2: A Wank And A Half?
Next day.
Guy 1: So, how was she?
Guy 2: In Layman’s terms, a Wank And A Quarter.
Guy 1: Ooh, I’m sorry.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was disappointing. I’ve got to stop overestimating chicks. Hey, I never heard what you thought.
Guy 1: What, you mean what Wank Rank I gave her in my head?
Guy 2: Yeah. You’ve always been better at placing women than me.
Guy 1: It comes with practice.
Guy 2: So what did you think?
Guy 1: Well, it’s kind of pointless now, seeing as how you’ve already had sex with her.
Guy 2: Well, I still want to know.
Guy 1: It doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: Come on.
Guy 1: You really want to know?
Guy 2: Yeah, of course.
Guy 1: Well… I kinda knew she’d be Worse Than A Wank.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night, and you were seriously hung-over this morning, but yeah, she looked awful.
Guy 2: Worse Than A Wank? No way, she couldn’t have been that bad.
Guy 1: No seriously, she was like an inch of makeup, cancerously tanned and looks like she may have a venereal disease.
Guy 2: WHAT? And you let me take her home?
Guy 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Guy 2: I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AIDS!
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s almost enough to make you stick to wanking, or go gay.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I said it’s enough to make you want to abandon women altogether.
Guy 2: Are you trying to tell me something?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Pause.
Guy 1: I’m gay.
Guy 2: I gathered.
by Mr Tangfastic February 25, 2009
Get the Wank Rankmug. Pronounced:
w-a-n-k rou-elle
w-a-n-k rou-elle
by smackmyass August 27, 2013
Get the Wank Royalmug. Wanking whilst sitting down and having a shit, as it makes the shitting far more enjoyable, and also much, much easier
Damn, I had a really good shit wank today....
Oh, that shit wanking makes shitting so much nicer and easier
I was turtling, and at the same time feeling really horny, so I sat down and had a good shit wank...
Oh, that shit wanking makes shitting so much nicer and easier
I was turtling, and at the same time feeling really horny, so I sat down and had a good shit wank...
by Bibbo November 16, 2006
Get the Shit Wankmug.