IM Police

The IM Police is a self-appointed task force of suck-ups, out to rid the world of working-from-home slackers. They constantly refresh IM contact lists, looking for idle timers that exceed three seconds.

Unfortunately, their sleuth skills are very limited and usually lead to debacular accusations. They make Barney Fife look like a supercop in comparison.

Sgt Peterson, IM Police: Uh, can you explain why you went idle for 12 seconds just now? If you are working from home, you need to be working.

Abe: I'm on vacation, you pwned nitwit.

Sgt Peterson, IM Police: Oh... uh... see any good movies lately?

by moraleboatanchor March 27, 2013

Briggsy's Art Police

Otherwise known as Briggsy's Gay Mafia. A bunch of pretentious artists who punish the non-arty. They march through cities and verbally abuse anyone who dares to walk past an art gallery without going in and jizzing their pants in artistic excitement. Briggsy's Art Police is made up of all the artists who have been anally pleasured by Briggsy and who worship the dwarf as their god.

Better not walk past Tate Modern without going in. Briggsy's Art Police will be patrolling and I don't fancy being harangued by a gaggle of mincing queers.

by Colin Cummerbund September 18, 2006

Defund the Police

a type of police reform where funds are taken from the police and reallocated to fund schools, communities, and mental health programs to help reduce crime and the high demand for police.

taking funds away from areas in the police department such as police unions, the 1033 program, and militarization can also help reduce the amount of corruption that goes on in the police department.

the NYPD’s funding is 6 billion which is more than what the city spends on health, homelessness, youth development, and workforce development combined. Yes, Defund the Police

by thymission December 2, 2020

Thought Police

From George Orwell's 1984. A Gestapo organization responsible for monitoring all citizens and making sure they are not guilty of political dissent, or thoughtcrime.

The FBI is on its way to becoming the Thought Police.

by Mack June 23, 2004

lawn police

pejorative used to describe a neighbor or group of neighbors who are excessively critical and vocal, sometimes bordering on being persecutive, about the condition of other people's lawns

Willard often mowed his neighbors' lawns just before they were going to mow them, and they often referred to him as the lawn police.

by THE DOOMED STUFFING May 14, 2014

care police

A police organization formed for people who do not want to hear others whine about meaningless and random occurences that happen in their boring lives.

Lit. Teacher: "Hamlet can either be described as sane or insane and this all depends on how you interpret his actions in the play."

Me: "Wow... Someone call the care police."
...............___@@@__
......_____//____?____\______
----o--------CARE-POLICE----@)
-----`--(@)=====+====(@)-

by Thomas E. Peay September 15, 2004

Freelance Police

A team (preferably a duo) hired by a police commissioner (preferably not seen) to take on cases and jobs (preferably none anyone in their right mind would do) for a meager wage (preferably in Hostess snack food and non-bootleg corndogs).

Only wisecracking overzealous crime stoppers fill this job. They are found loitering near convenience stores, have wanton disregard to the rules of the road, and take random things as "evidence". Cases handed to them always get done, but probably not in a way people expect them to be solved.

Person 1: Did you know Freelance Police curse in long hand?

Person 2: Well, semicolon apostrophe hyphen comma good for them!

by 50-Foot Cockroach September 3, 2011