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Wang-Baatar Theory

The Wang-Baatar theory establishes a balance between energy spent on romantic relationships with other relationships in order to promote the stability of fellow women everywhere...

... with set variables...
1) Hookups (H)
2) Casual Dates (D)
3) Platonic Friends (F)
4) Friends with Benefits (B)

5) Relationship (R)

...and dependent on the combination of variables where:

B = H+ F where H or F can come first

(F + D) > or = H

The spectrum of variables:

F -- B -- H -- D -- R
The Wang-Baatar Theory saved my life when I realized that I needed to focus on my friends more than the meaningless hookups that I have!
by moon&gwangster September 9, 2020
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Radical Fluid Identity Theory

... posits that many of the putative unchangeable characteristics, such as race or gender,will become irrefutably protean in the future given we reach the point where it's technologically possible to do things like switch genders or race more easily & or in a (more) irrefutable manner. Supposed unchangeable characteristics would become patently changeable & analogous to the clothes one chooses to wear or the colour of hair one chooses to have.
Jolyne: Methinks Radical Fluid Identity Theory is a good idea. It'll prolly get people in the mindset of wanting to try all the stuffs. All the genders, all the races, all the characteristics, all the life, do everything, shag everything, everybody love everybody bruh.

June: Yo dude it gets me hype. I cannot wait for the future.

Reaves: Yo I remember the future
Celyne: NEKTAR NOW!
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Breezy’s Location Theory

A theory thought up by a great philosopher which states: The thought of if someone has lost their virginity in a certain location, is more likely to be a yes.
person 1: Man this lake is pretty but there’s so many broken bottles on the ground

person 2: hey, you think someone lost their virginity here?

person 1: yeah, given Breezy’s Location Theory, most likely at least one person has
by Queen Breezy November 9, 2020
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The Infinite Monkey Theorem

Everything that can happen, will happen, given enough time.
A: Did you hear? The Patriots came back from a 25 point deficit to win the Superbowl!
B: Wow, that's like stuff from the Infinite Monkey Theorem.
by Azshara October 7, 2020
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Car Temperature Theory

Car Temperature Theory is when someone raises the temperature in their car when its cold outside, which makes you hot because you wore warm clothing. Then ten minutes later the temperature gets turned back down to an appropriate level with warm clothing on.
"Every time I'm in Susan's car during the Winter the Car Temperature Theory always happens"
"Yeah I hate Susan"
by BravoArmstrong December 3, 2020
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Infinite Funny Theorem

1. When you create a new funny via forgetting the original funny, thus theoretically creating a source of infinite funny; When humor originates from the setup of a joke but the punchline being forgotten in a comedic fashion

2. The Scientific Theory that, if an immortal monkey spent all of eternity clicking on random keys on a keyboard, it would eventually write every joke that could possibly be conceived.
Rick: "Hey, I heard a funny joke the other day! So, a Tibetan Monk walks into a bar in order to observe the lifestyle of people living in a first world country and an urban setting, and then-"
Vick: "Wow, he walked into a bar? That must've hurt!"
Rick: "Haha, you fucking moron, that's not what I meant you failed excuse of a human being."
Vick: "So... where's the funny?"
Rick: "Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be telling a joke-"
Vick: "Hah! You forgot the funny!"
Rick: "No, it's the infinite funny theorem. By forgetting the funny, I've created another funny."
Vick: "Wow, that's pretty funny!"
Pause for laughter. If it does not ensue, then your friends are not based enough.
by Based Guitar December 20, 2020
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Infinite Funny Theorem

1. When you create a new funny via forgetting the original funny, thus theoretically creating a source of infinite funny; When humor originates from the setup of a joke but the punchline being forgotten in a comedic fashion

2. The Scientific Theory that, if an immortal monkey spent all of eternity clicking on random keys on a keyboard, it would eventually write every joke that could possibly be conceived.
Rick: "Hey, I heard a funny joke the other day! So, a Tibetan Monk walks into a bar in order to observe the lifestyle of people living in a first world country and an urban setting, and then-"
Vick: "Wow, he walked into a bar? That must've hurt!"
Rick: "Haha, you fucking moron, that's not what I meant you failed excuse of a human being."
Vick: "So... where's the funny?"
Rick: "Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be telling a joke-"
Vick: "Hah! You forgot the funny!"
Rick: "No, it's the infinite funny theorem. By forgetting the funny, I've created another funny."
Vick: "Wow, that's pretty funny!"
Pause for laughter. If it does not ensue, then your friends are not based enough.
by Based Guitar December 20, 2020
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