rectal freeze

When someone is being a frigid asshole.
Hey Joey, you're being a real rectal freeze...
by Gloomklown April 02, 2016
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rectal plumber

A trades man of the highest order in relation to realigning the internal pipework and plumbing of the rectal cavities of others by vigorous use of his lady tickler. Whether they be a male who is turdburgling another male, a man who is kicking in the back door of his lady friend. Or a lady who has strapped on a prostrate pulveriser to even the score with the man in her life. Rectal plumbing is never soft and gentle and is always executed with vim and vigour. Often accompanied by name calling and hair pulling. Energetic thrusting and circular movements of the phallic instrument within the fartbarn of the other person is a must. Often leading to next day fart barnacles and the inability to pass solid stools.
Dude what's wrong with your mum, she's walking funny, moaning and holding her stomach?
Oh, my dad has a Nobel Prize in rectal plumbing and I think whilst he was in there he adjusted her lower intestines. She always said "Don't give me a rich man, give me a rectal plumber who'll leave me feeling like I've been kicked in the baby maker"

See Jolene over there, I rectally plumbed her last night. Man I got up in that fartbarn like the Nazis storming into Poland. Got me an Iron Cross off the Furher for services as a rectal plumber.

So Sebastian how was your date with Peter?
It was like somebody superglued an octopus to end of a hammer drill, shoved it up my fartbarn and turned it up to max. That boy has crazy rectal plumbing skills. He's the rectal plumber I've been waiting for since Uncle Frank introduced me to cock all those years ago. Anal Arse fucking Anal devastation Reamed
by Fitz2815 February 23, 2017
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rectal fart

the act of both shitting and pooping at the same time
person 1: "i just had a rectal fart"

person 2: "bro wtf"
by the true meme boi January 06, 2021
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rectal hammar

The name givin to Somone who destroys recroms in a awesome way
Dude Taylor is such a rectal hammar dude he gave Bo a hammering
by Mcfluffin November 04, 2013
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Rectal Speedboat

A rectal speedboat is where your partner is in the bath, you run in hover your anus just in the water and let out a ripper fart, the sound that follows sounds like a backfiring speedboat engine
Oh my partner ruined my bath last night and gave me the rectal speedboat

I’ve been victim to a rectal speedboat
by Siege of Society December 13, 2018
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rectal gates

a usually intangible thing to keep assholes away from you. . .

Often just a cold attitude by someone who has already had more than their fair share of assholes
John: What's up with Deb? She was so blunt to me yesterday when I saw her at the mall.
Deb's Brother: It's not personal, bro, she's just got her rectal gates up. . . you know she's just getting over a bad breakup
John: Yeah, I guess she's feeling extra touchy these days, eh?
Brother: I'll let her know you're cool so hopefully next time she'll relax with you
by cyberpope67,BC,Canada June 06, 2010
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