Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

pistol douche

One whom exclusively uses the pistol in a shooter game, especially by just using it to pistol whip. Usually frowned upon by all other players, especially in the XBOX 360 game Gears of War.

In a Gears of War Match:

"That guy's being a pistol douche. He never uses any other weapon!"

by bigmax June 17, 2007

douche bag

Talks really loud, laughs, and yawns way to loud. Often finds their own jokes funnier then they really are. Has a lot of blonde moments and isn't very skilled in socializing with others.

Someone with the name Jessica is a huge douche bag

by annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd November 21, 2014

Douche kabob

An attractive person who acts like shit.

Michale cheated on Lisa with her mother. Michale is a total douche kabob.

by Sarah vivian April 12, 2021

deca douche

Adj. describing a person who is 10x a normal douche.

“Jackson gets on my nerves every single day, but today he’s being a total deca douche!”

by Cherith Anne April 18, 2024

Douche Scum

Term used to describe the group of males lingering in various locations (i.e. bars, clubs, bowling allies, etc.) near last call, hoping to scam on desperate and/or intoxicated females.

Also referring to the quality of man, being as these creatures are of the lowest quality and are often compared to pond scum, or the crap at the bottom of the toothbrush holder in your bathroom.

Ex. It's slim picking when all that's left is the douche scum of this place.

by Ghouly Girl April 1, 2011

Hide and Douche

The act of saying something extremely shitty, racist/sexist, whatever the fuck you want that's a 0.006126126441 IQ move, and then calling it a joke, when you really mean it.

Person McGuyson: Clementine Ford was playing Hide and Douche today.

by Słoneczny! May 27, 2020