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Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.
by Maternal-Fetal-Medicine February 12, 2025
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go find jesus

When your credit card customer service agent is refusing to help you with an issue and they keep repeating something irrelevant to your current problem over and over and over again - so often that you finally get upset and raise your voice, and then they threaten to end the call as if that's a threat, so you ask for their employee number and they say, yes, I can give that to you. So you ask for it, and then they tell you their name only, so you ask for their employee number again. And then they get all scared and say: I told you my name. So you say: what am I supposed to do? Call this giant company back and ask for the most generic name ever? So he tells you that the call is being recorded at which point you inform him that "god hates liars and thieves" and then you pull the phone away from your ear, put the speaker end towards your mouth and say, go find jesus. Basically, you say this to a person who is being a ridiculous heathen.
Go find jesus *hangs up the phone*
by MeleeYourFace March 25, 2025
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Are You Preparing to meet Jesus?

A slang word for "are you ready to die?"
Johnny was walking slightly faster at the pool and the lifeguard said "Are you preparing to meet Jesus?"
by 69trainboi August 2, 2020
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I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.
Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.
by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023
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<.7.9.7.6>Chantel De Jesus Robles<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6>Chantel De Jesus Robles<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6>Chantel De Jesus Robles<.7.9.7.6.>
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St. Jesus Malverde

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.
by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017
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Surprise? Jesus!

Waking up to active morning sex to find someone you would not have chosen to have sex with had you been sober.
After a long night at the club, I woke to morning sex, saw them and said “Surprise? Jesus!”
by Deckard253x May 20, 2020
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