noble wank

To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.

Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?

son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.

Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.

son: thank you father.

by Dasten June 2, 2014

Wank Mit

A mitten used to aid masturbation. Often knitted from wool. A posh alternative to the wank sock.

Available in male and female flavours.

Tobias, my mom just found one of my wank socks and put her hand inside it!", "Dude, you really need to buy a wank mit, they're washable too

by WankMit April 13, 2011

Casual Wank

Wanking casually, usually when a person wanks whilst talking to a friend and having a generally good time. Often happens at social gatherings

Hey Sean? Are you having a casual wank?

by JakeCookieee August 29, 2015

Wank Camel

When you go a long time without having a flog just like a camel would go without water.

Person 1: "I haven't masturbated in ages."

Person 2: "Whoa dude, you're such a Wank Camel."

by TeddyBazz December 9, 2015

King Wank

After a few days/weeks or sometimes months of being unable to find yourself in a situation where you can masterbate, It will be paramount for your health and well-being to have a king wank or as some say, a King Wankathon. A king wank consists of multiple back to back wanks (sometimes hitting double figures). After you’ve completed this task you will need an armchair to sit and to rest your arms like a king would on his thrown. As a bonus while performing the act you get a ‘no one can touch me right now’ kind of feel whilst the dopamine courses through your veins.

Where’s Tom? Oh that’s right he was staying at his parents house for the last few days, he must have had a king wank when he got home, he’d be fast asleep, ‘All hail king Tom’.

by King wank July 31, 2019

Disaster Wank

A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.

1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.

by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 2, 2010

karen wank

Anything that makes a Karen cream her pants. This includes but is not limited to:
Being told she must do something
A request of hers being refused
A new rule being implemented
Any opportunity to complain
More than one manager currently available
Too much lettuce on their fast food burger.

Oh god, too much lettuce....that's another Karen Wank.

by KosherBob January 6, 2021