Coffee Vulture

A person who knows the sound of a coffee maker quite well, though never brews a pot. As soon as a coffee vulture hears the sweet sound of morning ecstasy brewing they immediately drop whatever unimportant task is being poorly done to find the source. Once located, a coffee vulture will then spectate, possibly drooling down its shirt. Whilst waiting awkwardly in a doorway or some other location that obstructs the flow of traffic, a vulture never lets its beady eyes leave the objective. Silently waiting either because watching is as much as its little brain can handle or because it has been labeled a fucking idiot and no one fucking gives a shit what this piece of shit has to say anyways. Upon the coffee maker's completion of its task the vulture waddles over and pours a cup before anyone else. The vulture is first not due to speed, but rather the overall repugnant nature of such a 'person', once the vulture's destination is known that area is then vacated and avoided until it has left. Upon filling its cup the vulture then returns to whatever meaningless task it was doing, periodically returning for more coffee until dry. After which this piece of shit might say, "Looks like we're out of coffee." in hopes that someone more useful than they may make another pot it can wait on.

"Is the coffee done yet?"
"No, the coffee vulture is still in there."
"Damn, I guess I'll just wait."

by Sexy Al Capone August 19, 2014

Coffee talk

Things not important enough for a biography, yet too important for text.

Let’s save that for coffee talk

by Realcoffeetalk June 24, 2018

Coffee Band

A band that you dislike on first sampling, but which grows on you with time.

The Mountain Goats are such a coffee band. When I first heard them, I wasn't impressed, but now I love them!

by FailureMajor June 6, 2011

instant coffee

People that become friends so fast, they are compared to instant coffee.

bob: dudee r u friends with that new girl?
rob: dude were instant coffee friends!
bob: pretty sick man!!

by thatshowwedoit November 23, 2009

Spanish coffee

When your maid shits on your chest.

I asked my wife for spanish coffee but she said no that’s too dirty.

by Rosalinda the dirty hooker June 7, 2018

irish coffee

A drink considting of coffee mixed with Irish whiskey. Can be served hot or cold, here's my cold recipe.

Iced Irish Coffee

2 cups (around 16 ounces) freshley brewed coffee
3 ounces Irish whiskey
2 tablespoons sugar
1.5 ounce milk
.5 ounce chocolate milk

Pour the milks and sugar into the coffee and stir.

Pour the whiskey in as you're stirring.

Pour this mix into a cup of ice, and then pour that cup back into the previous one. Do this about three or four times and then dispose of the ice.

Top with sweetened whipped creme if desired.

Can serve 2

Last night I drank 4 Irish coffees and had a hyperactive drunkenness!

by Matt October 1, 2005

Coffee Addict

A person who is a junkie for coffee. They get head aches cold sweats, shake and fatigue if they don't get their routine dose of coffee. Coffee gives them a jolt of energy and gives a "happy" buzz

person 1) Hannah was shaking so bad, since she didn't have her coffee

person 2) Yo shes a coffee addict/junkie!

by Emha October 4, 2009